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Everything You Need For Your Freshman Year Of College

You have graduated high school and it’s time you begin preparing for one of the most epic journeys of your career: college. This is an exciting time as you and your family begin to pack all your belongings in preparation for the most fun four years of your life.

For many suburban kids, college will be the ultimate experience, as it provides the perfect backdrop for independence, ushering new students away from the watchful eyes of their parents. These kids tend to take full advantage of this time and they just go crazy.

Your freshman year may be the most important year of your college experience, as it will set the tone for the rest of your time in college. It may be pretty intimidating, moving to an unfamiliar area without your parents and your friends. Before embarking on your journey, there are a few things you shouldn’t leave without. Here is Your 2013 Back To College Supply List:

Condoms and birth control

College is going to be one big party (at first), so make sure you pack right. There are plenty of love triangles that will come out of these parties and you will end up sleeping in random people’s beds at times. You will need plenty of condoms and birth control just to keep safe. And remember: just because she said she’s on birth control doesn’t mean she’s on it, so use every precaution.


A grinder and a bong

Now that you don’t have to worry about your parents catching you smoking, it’s time you brought out the big guns. A grinder and a bong are essential to your college career. After a stressful day in class, there is no better feeling than packing the bong and taking a few rips.


A mini fridge

Waking up hungover with a dry mouth is a horrible experience and there is nothing worse than having a dry mouth with nothing cool to drink. You want to have the best room possible and nothing will make your room more popular than a packed mini fridge.


Slippers

College showers have to be some of the sketchiest places on campus. This is just because there is no telling what is on that floor and who knows what you will be stepping in. If you are one of those people who plan on taking a shower without slippers, then you are just plain disgusting. Just imagine how many people rubbed one out in that shower.


Bottles

There will be plenty of beer for you to drink at school. Beer will be a steady part of your diet, so it’s time you bring out the heavy stuff. To save you time and money, just have your parents or older siblings buy you a few bottles. This way you can skip the beer belly and go straight to the hangover.


ConnectNow

In college, you will meet plenty of new people and what better way to connect with them than social media? Well ConnectNow is the latest app that allows you to instantly share your email, phone number as well as your social media contact information. This app will make meeting new people easy and allow for a quick transfer of your pertinent information.


Pax Ploom

The Pax Ploom is essential for any college freshman. Didn’t do well on that test? Well there’s no time to mope around about it. On the way to your next class you can just quickly and discreetly hit this portable vaporizer to put you in the zone.


Sperry’s and UGGs

No frat or sorority bid is complete without your Greek Life uniform. No frat bro could survive without his beloved Sperry’s. You will always need your go-to shoe that you have no problem spilling beer on and raging with. Also what sorority chick is not going to want her comfortable, yet warm UGGs to match her North Face jacket?


A subscription to Rushessay.com

You will be undoubtedly be pressed for time especially around midterm and finals season. It may seem like your work load is merely impossible and no matter how many hours you spend at the library, somehow your work load never seems to decrease. Well it’s time for you to think smart and to begin outsourcing your work. Get a subscription to rushessay.com, it will be a life saver in the crunch time.


A good connect

The hardest part about your freshman year is finding a solid connect. This may require you to venture off campus for the first few months and deal with some sketchy townies, but then again if you plan on joining a frat, there will be someone there who has a consistent and steady flow of goods.


Sunglasses and Advil

Just for those painful mornings when you wake up in a random bed, but have no time to shower or to do anything because your class starts in 15 minutes. Find your shades and pop a few Advil just to get you through the morning.


A prescription for Adderall

Midterms and finals will be some of the most stressful times of your college career. This time it is important you buckle down and get your work done. It is highly likely that you will use a lot of Adderall to get you through those tough times when you just need to focus. In order to save money, it would be best if you get yourself a prescription because we know buying this stuff on a consistent basis can get quite expensive.


Tinder

Tinder is another great app that you will need. This app will help break the ice between you and your crush much more easily. Now that you guys both know that you are attracted to each other, there is nothing left to do but to close the deal. So go out there, young fellow, and smash.


Flips Audio

Flip Audio headphones have to be the best dual purpose headphones out there. One second they are headphones that you can use on your commute from class to class, the next second, they are speakers you can use to set the tone in your dorm room. This headphones will revolutionize the way we enjoy our music and they can make any setting the backdrop for the perfect party. Do not hesitate to get these when you get the chance. They are a game changer, we promise.


Google Glass

There is no way of making the perfect POV video to share with your friends quite like using Google Glass. Bragging to your friends about your experiences is one thing, but being able to show them your antics live is a completely different story. Get yourself some Google Glass and share all your experiences with your friends. Also it’s going to be a great tool for cheating on your tests once you get the hang of it.


High hopes and low expectations

Freshman year is the most exciting as it proffers the idea of something entirely new. For the first time ever, we are, legit, on our own. Have high hopes, as you want your college experience to be something out of the movies, but remember that for four years you will be stuck in one social bubble, so just know that fun times don’t last that long — so keep your expectations low. By the end of your sophomore year, you will begin to see how repetitive your experiences are and this will ultimately discourage you and make you realize college isn’t all it’s hyped up to be.

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Eddie Cuffin

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Eddie Cuffin likes to stir up controversy. He is the persona of a man who gets the people talking, with his cynical and satirical take on New York City and American culture.
Eddie Cuffin likes to stir up controversy. He is the persona of a man who gets the people talking, with his cynical and satirical take on New York City and American culture.

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