Comparing yourself to others has to be the root of all evil. It is so obvious when you are keeping tabs on your so-called “friend,” it must get exhausting to count others’ blessings instead of your own. The worst part about it is that these frenemies are among us and we are giving them all the ammo they need to singlehandedly destroy us. It is sad that our biggest “haters” are those we cling to, calling them “besties” and letting them in our home and hearts. Sometimes that is the price we pay to have companionship — but is it really worth it?
So many friendships and relationships are tarnished by envy and jealousy because so many of us can’t grasp the concept of individuality. It seems that nowadays not only do we not know how to be happy for people, but we are also losing ourselves to replicas and less-hot wannabe versions of others.
There is only one you, and so many Rihannas and Kim Kardashians already, your only job is to be the best version of you that you can be. The only person you should aspire to be better than is the person you were yesterday. Stinging someone with your venom out of spite for your own life is only going to bring more negativity and misery to your world. Don’t put it out in the universe that you’ve been sipping some ‘haterade’ because you’re only attracting another dose of your own medicine.
Life is not a competition, yet why are we always racing someone or trying to get further than the next person? When you live your life according to other people you will never be content in the skin you’re in because there will always be someone who is younger, skinnier and smarter than you. With social media platforms at their peak, it is easy to go through someone’s Instagram or Twitter and develop hatred for them — and for yourself — because they have something you don’t.
But instead of wasting energy in someone else, why not use that as motivation to give you that push you needed to better yourself? Those that are rich and successful did not spend their free time wishing the next person fails, they were too busy working on their own goals and dreams. The biggest fail is when you measure your worth based on others.
You will never be Diddy or Beyoncé. That shouldn’t be your aspiration or your dream, those roles are already taken by individuals who made role models of themselves. Nothing you say or do will make them less attractive or less successful — however, it’ll make you more negative than you were yesterday.
And when it comes to appearances, anyway — nothing is ever as good as it looks like from the outside looking in. Sure, people do live amazing lives that they share online. But, to make you feel a little better about your less than fabulous life, not everything is what it seems. You can be losing sleep at night over a girl who has the perfect body and you don’t even know her living situation or if she’s faking it for the cameras.
You think you know someone because of their social media posts, but you truly don’t know anything at all. If you judge others based on appearances then you have not lived enough to know we fake a smile to hide the tears. We give you what we want you to take, what we want you to believe. We wear social masks and not many see what we look like without them. Don’t be a fool to think less of yourself because of superficial portrayals of happiness.
Thinking you’re not good enough because you don’t have the perfect body or a fancy job is self-destructive. Life is so much more than a big butt or expensive shoes. You need to find your niche, what makes you special. I bet you it’s something that none of those other girls have. That is what makes you different. Being genuine and carrying yourself with grace is so much more beautiful and attractive than any physical trait or material thing.
I come across so many gorgeous girls, but their personalities and their ugly attitudes speak louder and dull their shine. It stands out so much when someone carries envy and malice in their heart, how can you expect someone to love you when you barely love yourself? Work on the person that you want to become, it is never too late to add to your self-worth. Before you get anything out of life, you need to give it something — why not give it a beautiful soul?
Be the person you want to find, don’t be a nickel out here looking for a dime.
Isamar Avery | Elite.
To read more from Isamar, check out her website.