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Men Who Have This One Quality Will Go Bald Faster, Science Says

Societal beauty standards are a drag, amiright?

While women are constantly pressured into being thinner, prettier, more exotic or more natural, men suffer as well (though, let’s be real, not as much). The pressure to be tall, dark and handsome is real, and not all men are built the same.

One thing most men fear is losing their hair as they get older, which is a shame because a bald head looks damn good on some hotties I know.

And as it turns out, there’s an easy way to figure out if a man is more susceptible to hair loss than others might be, and it has to do with his height.

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According to one of the largest studies on male pattern baldness from the University of Bonn, short guys are at a higher risk of going bald than their lankier cohorts are.

OH, NO. NOT A SHORT, BALD GUY! GASP!

Apparently, some of the genes that cause a man to be on the shorter side are also linked to premature balding.

In the study, researchers looked at the genes of 11,000 bald men and 12,000 men without any hair loss and identified four locations in men’s genes that were related to both shortness and hair loss.

a still from "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia" featuring Danny Devito shirtless

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Their findings highlighted that testosterone levels may also be the culprit here.

Dr. Stefanie Heilmann-Heimbach, lead author of the study, explained,

Genes that increase the risk for baldness can also lead to earlier puberty and shorter stature, likely because all these factors are all influenced by hormones.

The hormones may act very slowly, over years, so it only appears 20 years after puberty.

Basically, the early presence of testosterone (and thus, early puberty) may cause the ends of a man’s bones to close, which, in turn, causes him to stop growing.

According to The Daily Mail, the only foolproof way to avoid baldness completely is by castration, which is obviously a ridiculous solution. Oof.

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However, Heilmann-Heimbach ensures it is not a DEFINITE RULE that you will go bald prematurely if you’re short. And you’re not completely safe if you’re tall, either:

I would reassure men that being short does not definitely mean they will lose their hair. If you are short and all the men in your family still have their hair, it is probably unlikely, and tall men can go bald too. But there are biological pathways which contribute to both traits.

If you want my totally, 100-percent professional opinion on the matter, I say there’s no use worrying over something you can’t control.

So, bald and short men, show yourselves off loud and proud.

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Jamie LeeLo

Editor

Jamie LeeLo is a comedian, writer & bull dog enthusiast. She hosts her own talk show, Brunch Night!, currently performing at Caroline's on Broadway and also performs improv every Monday night at The PIT. She spends most of her time hanging ...
Jamie LeeLo is a comedian, writer & bull dog enthusiast. She hosts her own talk show, Brunch Night!, currently performing at Caroline's on Broadway and also performs improv every Monday night at The PIT. She spends most of her time hanging ...

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