‘Maybe’ Isn’t An Answer: 5 Reasons Why You Need To Stop Overthinking
Maybe is what ruined my life. Maybe is what ruined my relationships. Maybe is what led me to failure. The realization that “maybe” doesn't actually exist is what changed everything. If you want to change your life then you need to realize the same thing.
Maybe is a figment of your imagination and will do all that it can do to slow you down. Maybe is poisonous and shouldn't be a part of your vocabulary. Here's why:
1. There's no “maybe” when it comes to getting necessary tasks done.
Some people are natural slackers — most people even; I certainly was when I was younger. But here's something that you realize with enough years experience procrastinating: No matter how long you wait, you're still going to have to do whatever it is that you have to do.
Not thinking about it, leaving it until last second, pretending like you don't need to get the tasks done you need to get done, is incredibly counterproductive.
We often hear about how being a procrastinator can actually help you — how it can force you to be productive in a short amount of time as you’re under pressure to get your tasks done by their due date.
My issue with this statement is that, even though you may get the task done in a seemingly efficient manner when it's done last minute (because you have to), you lose a lot of time and energy thinking about and avoiding thinking about those tasks all the way up until you do get them done. You waste mental energy thinking about things you are avoiding doing.
If you really want to be efficient, you either do what you need to do or decide you don't need to do it and forget it. Maybe isn't actually an option; it's just you being lazy and avoiding the fact that you have responsibilities.
2. There's no “maybe” when it comes to pursuing your passions.
Contrary to popular belief, passion is not enough to drive your entire life. You do realize that's why people are searching for passion in their lives, don't you?
People are looking for passions, for purpose, in order to more easily get through the day. It's not just about finding a direction to head to; it's also about removing the friction we feel when we need to do things.
It's a constant struggle for most people. We can rarely find a good reason to do the things we're doing because there rarely is a good reason to be doing them. Human beings have built an entire culture around trivial things, trivial pursuits and trivial activities.
Passion allows us to get through life more easily because it makes us feel like our life has meaning, that our actions have a purpose beyond ourselves.
The problem, however, is that even passions can often fail to move us. Some days we just don't care. Some days we just don't want to get out of bed.
Some days we wish we didn't exist — if only for a few brief moments. Passions are great as long as we're successful at pursuing them. Like all great things in life, however, they aren't always easy to pursue.
Don't give up on your passions no matter how long it takes for you to bring them to fruition. Your hopes and dreams are what make you, you.
Either pursue what you believe to be most important in life or don't. Maybe pursuing your dreams and passions will only give you a life that may be great, but also one that may just be hollow.
3. There's no “maybe” when it comes to love and relationships.
People are horrible at relationships — just about everyone. It's not because we aren't capable of loving another person. It's not because it's impossible for us to remain a part of a healthy and caring relationship. It's because we can never seem to make up our minds on the matter.
If I've learned anything about love in the last decade it's this: Love is not found; it's created and then held on to. Love is a decision. And, more importantly, so is being part of a healthy, loving relationship. This is a point I cannot stress too much.
If you never decide to love him or her, if you never decide that the relationship you are a part of is the last relationship you will ever be a part of, then your relationship will fail.
There is no maybe when it comes to love. That's not to say our emotions don't fluctuate — because they do.
Some days the person lying next to you will be the biggest and most beautiful part of your life. Other days they will simply be a partner on your own personal journey.
Emotions are fickle things and cannot be relied on for making proper decisions — and love is a decision. If you “maybe” love them, if you “maybe” want to be with them, then you are definitely setting yourself up for heartbreak and confusion.
You're either all in or all out. Believing there is a maybe when it comes to relationships is the reason most of them fail.
4. There's no “maybe”: When it comes to changing your life and living the life of your dreams.
This one I find the most entertaining — people are really silly creatures. Most of us don't enjoy the lives we're living. Most of us are unhappy with where we live and how we live. Most of us don't like our lives. Yet, we refuse to change.
We want a different life, a better life, a life where we look great, feel great and are regarded as being great. Greatness is always achievable, however, it requires you to do certain things.
It requires you to live your life in a certain manner, to view reality under a certain light. If you want to change your life the way you live your life is going to have to change as well — and that's what most people refuse to do.
We want better lives, yet refuse to stop doing and stop pursuing the things that make the life we have now a life we don't want to live.
It's really all because we want all the perks of living a great life, without all the hard work that comes with it. We want to be successful, be intelligent, be great looking, but we don't want to do the necessary work to be more successful, to be more intelligent, to be better looking.
We want the results, but refuse to accept the work that'll get us there. It's either yes or no! If you want a better life, then go and f*cking live it. Who's stopping you?! Oh that's right… you are.
5. There's really never a “maybe” — you're just avoiding making decisions.
Do you know why computers will always out-process, outthink, outmaneuver human beings? Because they only have two options when it comes to decision making: yes and no.
Machines don't have a maybe. They either do or don't do; it's either a one or a zero. Maybe isn't a real thing; it's a concept that human beings created in order to explain their indecisiveness — indecisiveness, for those who don't know, being the avoidance of making a decision. Maybe isn't an answer. Maybe it delaying making that answer.
When it comes to making decisions — any decisions — maybe is never really an option. If it were an option, then there would be no need for decisions.
Everything would just be up in the air. Nothing would get done. The world would never change. And life would cease to exist.
Your atoms and cells don't choose to “maybe” hold you together — they just do what they do because it's what they are meant to do. As first world cultures continue to develop, we get bombarded with more and more decisions to make.
But it's not the amount of decisions we need to make that really slow us down; it's avoiding making those decisions that wastes so much time and energy.
The choice is yes or no, one or zero. It shouldn't take you more than a few seconds to decide. Anything longer than that is procrastination and avoidance of reality.