Don’t Be Afraid Of Failure: Stop Making Excuses And Start Doing Things
Atychiphobia: have you ever heard of it?
The irrational, constant, overwhelming fear of failure is actually a phobia: atychiphobia. Chances are you don’t have this condition. But if you’re a member of Gen Y, you might experience a mild case of this from time to time.
When you’ve been handed a trophy just for participating, been graded on effort, or had your photo snapped for the local newspaper for not-always-stellar achievements, fear of failure can become overwhelming later in life.
This fear can’t go on forever, though, and you can’t use atychiphobia as an excuse. (It’s a real phobia, but your boss will chalk that up alongside the dog eating your homework.)
Failure: The Thing That Goes Bump in the Night
When you think about taking a new job in the big city, do your palms sweat? Do you get anxiety when you think about packing up and moving out? That’s normal. But if you don’t even apply for the position because you fear you won’t be considered, you have a problem.
Many Gen Y kids grew up being congratulated, honored, and showed off. They might not have had opportunities to openly fail and embrace their stumble. If they did fail, it was swept under the rug. This abundance of forced success (and the accompanying acknowledgement of that success) created a wave of fear for these individuals now that they’re older and working in the real world.
There’s no cushion for failure in the real world. While your parents were concerned with your feelings, your employer’s more worried about his bottom line. Your boss isn’t going to send people home early for “great effort” on Fridays when the company’s losing profit quarter after quarter. He’s going to expect something more or different from you.
Because time has passed, you have to stop living under fear’s thumb. This excuse of Gen Yers everywhere needs to be eliminated. You might think your parents, boss, or co-workers don’t understand what keeps you from doing your best work in all aspects of life. You’re right: they don’t! So get rid of the excuse and accept that failure is inevitable — and might even be good for you.
Embrace the Fail
Here’s the thing: you may feel like your colleagues don’t understand you, but you don’t understand them, either. Can you explain why your cubicle mate, Bob, stresses out when your boss mentions public speaking opportunities? Do you know why Mary shudders every time the end-of-the-month processes roll around? No — but you realize there’s real fear there. The difference is that Bob and Mary have accepted that these are their problems that they have to solve themselves. No one’s going to coddle them.
The great thing about being a Gen Yer is this: you’re young and have a lot of years left to fail and succeed. This makes it easy and perfectly acceptable to fail. You have days, months, and years to try again. The deck is stacked in your favor that you’ll eventually land upon success. It’s also possible that the people you work with aren’t a part of Gen Y, so learning from them is essential improvement. Work to embrace new reactions you’ve never felt before: rejection, disappointment, and the excitement of starting over.
Once you fail — and you will — find a success hidden within it. There will always be something to learn from failure, and there will always be room for improvement. Remember that the real failure is in failing to improve. If you screwed up an important report, ask, “What went wrong?” Once you’ve identified the problem, think of ways you can prevent it from happening again. Can you make a checklist? Can you ask Bob to double-check your figures after you’re reviewed them? Should you start using spellcheck? Already, you’ve become a smarter and more capable person who shouldn’t be afraid to get back up and try again.
Failure will also help you find your passion. When you figure out what you’re not so great at or what truly doesn’t interest you, you become a more self-aware person. Step outside of what you’ve been told to do or what you’re qualified for. What’s easy for you — and earns you rewards and acknowledgment — isn’t always the thing that’s going to fulfill you. Make that distinction and seek something fulfilling.
If you fear you won’t succeed, take a chance and try something new, anyway. If you’re tired of authors writing books about Gen Yers being whiny and afraid of failure, make a difference. You may have always done what was expected of you — but you don’t have to. Failure now will make your inevitable successes later so much sweeter.
Photo courtesy: Tumblr, Top Photo: Steve Mcghee