I'm 26, Never Been Kissed, And No, Nothing Is Wrong With Me
I don't know how many times I've watched the movie “Never Been Kissed,” but I consider it a staple in my life. I have never felt more connected to a character than I do to Josie Geller. She is my spirit animal.
Minus the going undercover as a reporter in high school, we have led very similar lives. I was a geek in high school. I was probably a little less stereotypically geeky than Josie, but I still wasn't the girl guys wanted to date, especially the Billys at my school. I'm sure if people were as cruel as they are in the movies, I would have been asked to prom by my crush and then had eggs thrown on me for being a nerd.
As an adult, my love life has been stunted as a result of getting zero action growing up. I can count the number of dates I've been on in my entire life on one hand, and the thought of actually having someone to call boyfriend is very alien to me. I may be stunted, but I can assure you I'm not Josie Grossie anymore.
I consider myself a writer, like Josie. Just as she did, I am confessing that I am 26 years old, and I have never truly been kissed. The only difference between me and Josie now is that my life isn't a movie. It's not going to end in 107 minutes, so it's not going to wrap up nicely with a Michael Vartan-like love interest coming to kiss me on the pitcher's mound of a baseball field in front of all my friends.
Actually, I'm already past the point in Josie's life where she got the kiss. She was 25. I am a whole year older than her. That's a whole year in this character's life where she probably got to kiss Mr. Coulson every day.
The thing is, I'm not writing to complain about how I'm unexperienced and why I want to change it. Sure, it would be nice to kiss a good-looking man who likes me back, but that's just never happened. And I'm not actively pursuing it.
The right person will come along one day, and it will all work out. Or, I'll die never having truly kissed anyone. It happens.
I guess what I wanted to say is, it's OK to have never kissed anyone. I know I'm not alone, and there are plenty of Josie Gellers in the world with me. We're fine.
I probably could have been kissing guys I don't care about all this time. But, I'm waiting for my pitcher's mound moment, or as Josie says, “that moment when you kiss someone and everything around becomes hazy, and the only thing in focus is you and this person, and you realize that that person is the only person that you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life.”
I'm waiting for that. I'm waiting for the kiss that truly matters, when I'm lost in the moment and nothing matters except the two of us being together.
And until that comes, I just want to say thank you for giving me Josie Geller to look up to. I think we need more characters like her in movies. I'm sure the writers thought this character was crazy, and the premise of her life was so absurd it was a comedy. But let me tell you: It's not crazy, and God bless you for giving her to me.
Also, if any Michael Vartan-types are reading this and thinking, “Hey, she sounds fun,” I'll be waiting on the closest pitcher's mound for you to come kiss me.
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