Lifestyle

Why Outgrowing Tinder Was The Best Thing To Happen To My Love Life

by Michelle Santoyo

Seeing your Facebook News Feed filled with engagement photographs and baby announcements can be a scary thing for any single Millennial, whether we like to admit it or not.

According to the typical life plan, you should be done with college, have a career and be looking for a wedding venue with a 2-carat rock on your manicured ring finger.

But what about those of us who don't fit the mold?

What if I'm a single 20-something-year-old who is still working on her life plan, and who still enjoys a stiff gin and tonic on a Friday night?

Life in your 20s is rough when you're constantly being reminded of how your life should be.

But sometimes you just have to say, "F*ck it."

After swiping through every male within a 100-mile radius on Tinder, I've come to one conclusion.

Sometimes, we have to realize how amazing we are, and we need to realize we can't force things.

We need to just live our lives, especially when it comes to dating.

Millennial men have forgotten about this magical thing called a date.

We are the generation of "Netflix and chill."

While there is nothing wrong with a literal night of Netflix and chilling, it has become the new dinner and a movie.

Instead of asking us out to dinner, guys ask us out for drinks.

Instead of meeting guys in the coffee shop, we are meeting guys after a right swipe.

While I am a big fan of social media, Tinder has been the downfall of all of our dating lives.

We are a generation that is afraid of commitment, but not afraid of sex after a right swipe and three drinks.

I once used Tinder and spent a countless amount of time superficially judging guys and swiping my life away.

It was addicting.

We are a spoiled generation afraid of rejection.

Tinder caters to our needs by eliminating the fear of rejection and feeding our egos with compliments from strangers.

What more could a person want?

Using Tinder felt like I was playing a game, and that's exactly where the problem lies.

Dating has become a game to Millennials.

People no longer "date."

They are "talking," "texting," "hanging out" or "hooking up."

Tinder gives us a false sense of hope for men who want nothing more than a casual hookup.

For example, I had been on three dates with Sam*. I had a great time with him each time.

He was tall, handsome and had a great job.

He'd text me good morning and goodnight, and he did the typical things any guy into you would do.

A few days after date number three, I received a call from Sam.

He told me he didn't have work the next day and asked if I would like to meet him for drinks.

I was in bed with a Lush face mask on, so obviously I said no.

I put my phone down to resume my night of relaxation only to have my hotline bling again.

Sam was calling. Our conversation went a little something like this:

Me: "Hello?"

Sam: "Vanessa. What are you up to?"

Me: "This is Michelle."

Sam: "Oh sh*t, wrong person."

Me: *Hangs up*

Needless to say, I now refer to Sam as Dick.

He obviously had been seeing multiple girls at the same time.

"How could I be so stupid?" I thought to myself.

Then, I realized it wasn't Sam; it was me.

How could I expect someone I met off Tinder to only be seeing me?

We are a generation of girls who grew up with Disney princess stories, and now we have to deal with this f*cked up world of dating.

I'm no one's Tinderella.

Tinder relationships are bad for your health and should be completely avoided at all costs.

If you expect to find a meaningful relationship on Tinder, it will suck all of the romance out of you and leave you bitter to the idea of love.

Several failed first dates later, I realized I had outgrown Tinder and deleted it once and for all.

If you're looking for someone to have some late-night fun with or just want to meet new people quickly, then by all means, use Tinder to your full advantage.

If you're sick of futile first dates, then stay far away.

I would rather curl up with a bottle of wine on my couch than waste my time on another pointless Tinder date.

This whole experience has been a wake-up call.

Why was I looking for someone else to validate I was where I was supposed to be in life, when I could do that myself?

Who cares if you're a single 20-something-year-old?

Society has placed such an importance on finding a significant other when we really should be finding, creating and loving ourselves.

Someday my prince will come, and if he doesn't, I'm perfectly fine with that, too.

*Names have been changed.