Get Off My News Feed: 10 People You Hate, But Stalk On Social Media
Social media is a different planet.
If you're alive, you're on social media. And if you're on social media, you are classified based on how you act on the Internet.
Let's face it: People act differently on social media than they do in real life.
We all know people who post statuses and tweets the stuff they don't have the balls to say IRL.
Needless to say, that kind of sh*t is why I love the Internet.
On Instagram, Twitter and Facebook, there are certain people's demeanors and personas we cannot stand.
To be honest, that's okay because not everyone will be friends with each other. You don't have to like everyone.
It's your life. Every individual on this planet is attracted to different types of people, and that is what makes us all unique.
With that being said, there are some people who annoy the complete crap out of us based on their social media presences.
Even if you haven't met these annoying people, you still get irritated.
While scrolling through your feed, you have probably come upon these types of people and thought, “What the actual f*ck?”
Here are 10 types of people we can't stand on social media (aka, here are 10 types of people we creep on):
1. The emotionally unstable person.
Are you really going to break up with your boyfriend via Facebook status? Do we still talk about our significant others on social media?
I really thought that only happened back in middle school. This is the most entertaining type of person, though. Why?
Because with one emotional status, a flood of funny comments comes, too.
2. The girl who only posts bikini pictures (after getting a boob job).
Cool. You have big boobs all thanks to a plastic surgeon. Still, I don't feel like seeing pictures of you in a bathing suit pretending to “Baywatch”-run across the sand.
Just because you got a boob job doesn't mean I want to see your tits in every picture.
But then again, I love that bathing suit, so I'll still look at your pictures.
3. The girl who only posts pictures of her ass.
This is the girl who takes a picture of herself doing yoga, but it's really just a picture of her ass.
She's the girl who is posing next to a palm tree, but her ass is the center of attention.
She's the girl eating ice cream, but somehow, the main focus is her ass. I don't get it, and I never will.
But, I secretly don't want to unfollow her because I want to know how she stays in shape.
4. The guy who only poses with girls.
I don't even know where these guys come from, but it's probably an entirely different galaxy. Do you have guy friends?
It's okay to pose with your boys. Your pictures that are exclusively with girls convince me you have zero game.
Posing with one special girl is sexier than posing with different girls every night.
But then again, this kid goes out more than I do and probably has more fun than me. So, I'll continue to follow him.
5. The assh*le.
He's that guy who comments on every single status acting like an idiot. He tends to write comments only to start arguments.
Well, go watch sports or something. Take a nap, or get a hobby. Stop spending your time commenting on people's posts in order to stir up trouble.
Yet, keep it coming because I need something to entertain me during my nine-to-five.
6. The one who only posts selfies.
I don't care if your hair is parted left or right. I don't care if you're in bed or on the couch. Why do you take so many pictures of yourself?
I'm not against selfies at all, but I cannot stand an Instagram profile that only contains selfies.
Newsflash: You look the same in every picture. Go outside and take a picture of the city skyline or something.
Honestly, there's no point in creeping on this person, but we still do anyway.
7. The ex.
I know there is no reason to look at exes' social media profiles, but sometimes, their stupid sh*t just pops up.
You can't help but scroll up and bang your head on the concrete cement because you cannot stand them.
But, it's nice to see their boring updates that remind you of how happy you are without them.
Maybe this point should have been number one…
8. The one who posts disgusting food.
Here's the thing: Pictures of food should only be taken by those who have an eye for the camera. I love food, and eating is my hobby.
But, not everyone knows how to use a camera, and those who don't end up ruining every meal they post on social media.
Is that a picture of lasagna or vomit? I just lost my appetite, but I'll probably creep on you regardless.
9. The one who only posts old photos.
These are the “back in my day” folks. Well, sorry, you don't look 18 anymore; you're 45. Get over it, and post a picture of yourself in 2015.
Yes, throwbacks are fun and cute, but it would be nice to see what you look like now rather than a million years ago.
But, this person is probably your relative, so you can't unfollow or else you'll get bitched at during Thanksgiving dinner.
10. The one who only has one picture, and it's a cartoon.
Are you really going to f*cking post one picture? Is that one picture of an anime character? No.
Why are all of your other pictures of cartoons, too? What world is this? This really shouldn't piss me off as much as it does. But, why?
Just post a picture of you and friends. Don't hide behind a cartoon. This person deserves an unfollow.
With all the stress that comes with social media, you'd think we would lay off the Internet for a while.
Then again, we need something to help us pass the time until the weekend hits.
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