The Sh*t White Bitches Love

The Sh*t White Bitches Love
Life

White women may the craziest breed of people out there, as they demonstrate some of the most odd behaviors on a daily basis. As soon as the clock strikes 5 p.m., you can find them running around NYC half naked, drunk and barefoot. Watch out Lindsay Lohan and Amanda Bynes, you aren’t the only crazy white women in existence.

Let’s take a look at some of the things that white biddies love:

Dogs

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Nothing gets a white girl more excited than a cute little puppy. For some reason these girls think that talking in a baby voice to this dog will get this animal to play with them. White girls thrive on posting pictures of their dogs on every social media platform they have access to. They dress their pups up, give them birthday parties and even go as far as to put them in strollers when they go shopping at the mall. Why is it that these people find it necessary to let their dogs lick them on the face? This is far from sanitary.


Emojis

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White bitches can have entire conversations via emojis — trust me I’ve done it. They do say a picture is worth a thousand words. Girls don’t just use one or two emojis, they use a plethora. Literally every other sentence is filled with the dancing cha-cha chick or my personal favorite, the see no evil monkey face.


Yoga

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Downward dog, tree pose, baby cobra: you name it, these girls can do it. White bitches hate to sweat, so yoga is a great low intensity workout that still makes these people feel good about themselves. It also serves as an excuse to drop $88 on a pair of lululemon leggings. All yoga allows you to do is put your expensively panted legs far behind your head as you find your “center.”


Starbucks

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It is no secret that white chicks love their coffee, but they worship Starbucks. Only a crazy white bitch is willing to spend $4+ on one cup of coffee. If you go to 7-11, you can literally buy 2 ½ cups of coffee for that price.


Froyo

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We got 16 Handles, Red Mango, Yogurtland, Orange Leaf and Pinkberry: a white bitch’s paradise. You can’t walk into any of those places and not see at least 10+ white bitches stuffing their faces with “low fat” yogurt.


Juice Cleanses

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Bitches love cleanses because if you are not eating food, you don’t have to worry about throwing it back up. No further explanation necessary.


Sushi

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“OMG GUYS LIKE LET’S GET SUSHI TONIGHT!” said every white girl ever. A white girl’s dinner diet consists almost entirely of sushi, well that is if she isn’t busy juice cleansing. You have your basic sushi bitches, who order things like the California roll and then you have your sushi connoisseurs with their dancing dragon spicy crab rainbow roll.


Bronzer/Tanning

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Ain’t nothing faker than a white chick in the winter. We flock to tanning salons on the reg just to make it look like we just stepped off a beach in Aruba. If you asked a girl what items she would take with her if stranded on a desert island, I guarantee bronzer will be at the top of her list. You think this phenomenon only occurs in the winter? Wrong. White women hit the tanning salon days before they hit the shore in the summer hoping to achieve that “base tan.”


Blacking Out

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There’s a reason they call it white girl wasted. Regardless of where these girls are partying, one thing is for sure, they will not remember the night they are about to have. They don’t care if they are throwing back tequila shots, downing vodka sodas or chugging vodka cranberries. Whatever will get them drunk, they are willing to ingest. Classic white girl blackout: when someone asks, “Remember when xyz happened last night?” and your immediate thought is… “I don’t remember anything?”


Glasses

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There are two kinds of glasses white girls tend to rock on a daily basis: oversized sunglasses and thick-framed glasses. Regardless if this girl actually needs to wear glasses or not, for some reason she thinks this is a hot look. News flash, it’s not. These thick-framed glasses need to be tossed in the trash along with your bright red lipstick.


Free Sh*t

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From free samples at Costco, to free drinks at the club, no one enjoys receiving free sh*t quite like white girls. We all have that one friend who is thirstier than the rest, always looking for a guy at the bar to pick up her tab. As the betches told us, “Fact is, if you’re spending more than 15 dollars out in a major city at night you need to f*cking lose twenty pounds.”

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Ashley Fern

Ashley comes to Elite Daily from the happiest valley in State College, Pennsylvania. She was born and raised between New York and South Florida, but spent the most fun years at Penn State, proving you can have the best time of your life by doing things you can't remember. She divides her time between binge-watching “Entourage,” giving unwanted opinions and convincing herself that she will one day marry Dwyane Wade. For more unadulterated fun follow her on Twitter and Instagram at @Disco_Infern0.

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