The 10 Signs She’s A Bottle Whore

The 10 Signs She’s A Bottle Whore
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There has been an influx of woman terrorizing the nightlife scene. Although they have been around for a while, bottle whores are making a resurgence in the nightlife scene like no other. It is imperative that we point out the bottle whores and educate you gentlemen, as these women only want free alcohol and to be seen with the bottle.

The bottle whore relationship is quite parasitic, as these girls leech on to your table just drinking your alcohol, with no intention of giving it up or hooking you up with one of her friends. It is important that we understand that these bottle whores are very clever and quite skilled at their craft. We have to give credit where credit is due. However it’s time we take a stand.

It is time we pointed out the bottle whore characteristics in order to save you from spending too much money on a leech that brings no value to your nightlife experience. Although she may be good-looking and great at conversation, there is nothing else she brings to your table. Do not fall into the trap of letting these bottle whores ruin your experience. Here are the 10 signs she’s a bottle whore.

When initially meeting her in the club and asking her for a drink she asks ‘Do you have a table?’

In the club, it is common for you as a gentleman to walk up to a dazzling damsel in an attempt to start a conversation. On most occasions, the best way to keep the conversation going is by offering a drink. However if you encounter a bottle whore, good luck getting anything from her without a table. If her immediate response to you offering her a drink is “Where is your table?” or “Do you have a table?” then you have a bottle whore on your hands. She is a veteran in the clubs and will not entertain you unless you have a bottle.


She is usually dressed in risqué clothing to attract attention.

We cannot lie, the nightlife scene is full of thirsty individuals who are looking to get it in. Many men will do and spend whatever it takes to have a girl end up in their bed with them. All bottle whores wear skimpy outfits because they want to attract the attention of the thirsty individuals in order to get invited to their tables. For a bottle whore, self-promotion is very important, they spend hours attempting to make themselves more appealing than the other girls.


You will never see a bottle whore having drinks at the bar.

A veteran bottle whore will never be seen having drinks at the bar. Nightlife is the phoniest scene out there and people are there mostly to be seen and seem like they are having the best time in the world. A bottle whore does just that and she has an image to upkeep. Being that she has never had drinks at the bar, she doesn’t understand that a cranberry vodka tastes the same at a table as it does at the bar.

She works hard to keep her image and being seen at a table is one image that she works hard to hold. That is why almost always you will see a bottle whore at a promoter’s table because drinking cheap promoter vodka that comes out of a bottle is better than drinking at the bar, it just tastes different to them.


She knows which promoter is working where and on what day.

A bottle whore never enters the club unless she knows what promoter is working there. This is because they want to be at a table and seen with a bottle near them. Bottle whores are very savvy and some even memorize their promoters’ schedules so they are never left without a bottle to leech on.


She is exceptionally skilled at babysitting the bottle.

Although she has never had a job, a good bottle whore could always apply for a babysitting job because of how skilled she is at babysitting and keeping an eye on the bottle at the club. These girls are good at lingering around the bottle, always ready to pour themselves or their other friends another drink.

Like a talented basketball player who knows how to get a good position on the court and box people out for a rebound, a bottle whore knows how to get a good position at the table so that she is always within reach of the bottle. The bottle is never more than half an arm’s length away because as the bottle moves towards completion, she always wants to make sure she has last pour when the time comes.


She constantly attempts to pour her own drinks.

Vodka out of the bottle is just as sacred as gold in the clubs. Because bottle whores have never bought their own bottles, they have no idea what it feels like to earn the money to buy a bottle. They feel that bottles are their right.

Just because people freely give her drinks, she thinks she is entitled to control the bottle at the table. A bottle whore is really smart and will always attempt to pour her own drink, as if the bottle is hers. This is because she plans on giving herself the most vodka possible while completely disregarding the people who actually bought the bottle.


She will move mountains just to get a photo with the bottle and sparklers.

A bottle whore cannot resist the sight of the flares that come with the bottles, it is like their version of the bat signal. Once she sees a flare, she will stop at nothing to get from the opposite side of the club just in time to get a photo with the sparklers and the bottle.

As a bottle whore, she needs to be seen around a bottle, so don’t be surprised when you order a bottle and there are random girls ready to take photos. Don’t be surprised if bottle whores come to your table and ask you to take their picture next to the bottle.


She complains about the brand of vodka or champagne.

This is how you truly know a girl is a bottle whore. If you offer a drink out of your bottle and it isn’t up to par with what she is used to, she will complain about the brand, as if it matters that much.

Although she will never offer to pay for it, she still feels she has a say in what vodka should be at the table. After complaining about the brand in an attempt to try to get you to buy the more expensive bottle, she will still reluctantly take a drink of whatever you have then probably dip out in search of a higher quality vodka.


She pretends to be your best friend up until the bottle is gone.

In the clubs, you will meet a bunch or personalities and characters, many of them with whom you will converse happily and easily. A bottle whore can be an excellent conversationalist, as it is a skill she must have to get drunk. As she is a bottle whoring veteran, she knows that the key to getting more drinks is making great conversation.

She will sit there and talk to you, many may fall into the trap of thinking that this girl is actually cool and may give them a chance. Little do they know she is just waiting for the bottle to run out. Once she sees that the bottle is empty, she is gone into the crowd on the prowl for the next sucker that will invite her to their table for a drink.


She passes her drink to another dude or her friend.

Even when finding a suitable partner, a bottle whore cannot resist her parasitic ways. Instead of having her partner buy her drinks, she will work on getting him free drinks. Although this is a perfect situation for her suitor, as he will not have to pay for overpriced drinks, he has to witness his girl work the system as a bottle rat. She will hop from table to table pouring ‘herself’ a drink, which she slowly passes back to him.


Bonus: Your brief guide to dealing with a bottle whore and making sure she never comes back to your table again.

Now that you are well aware that these women exist and you can now point them out from a mile away, there are a few things you can do to keep them away from your table. Under no circumstance should you ever invite them to your table, unless you know there is something in it for you. Also if a bottle whore ever extends her cup to you, it is crucial that you deny her. If she is persistent, which she will be, take the vodka and pour it on the ground next to her feet as you would rather spill vodka onto the ground than pour it in her cup.

Also, if you have made the mistake of pouring a bottle whore a drink and you noticed that she is giving it to another man, you have every right to knock the cup out of her hand before she gives it to her man. These steps will ensure that the bottle whore will never come to your table again.

Photo courtesy Kirill Was Here, Flickr, Tumblr 

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Eddie Cuffin

Eddie Cuffin likes to stir up controversy. He is the persona of a man who gets the people talking, with his cynical and satirical take on New York City and American culture.

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