The Stupid Things White Girls Can’t Live Without

The Stupid Things White Girls Can’t Live Without
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Trends come and go over time — and white girls seem to be on top of each and every one of these transient fads, as they strive to be socially accepted by their peers. There is nothing more important to white girls than being accepted by the people around them. This causes them to follow stupid fads and, at times, do things they really don’t enjoy.

Like anything in life, there is a time limit on all of these trends. White women are a breed of their own and their habits are very unique to society. Here are the things white women cannot live without in 2013:

Kanye West/Jay-Z


Although they do not know much about Hip Hop or understand the culture, every white girl knows “Nigg*s in Paris.” Watch the Throne was a great success and we can’t do anything but thank Kanye and Jay-Z for making these girls twerk their asses off when their songs come up in the clubs. If we were to ask white girls anything about hip hop in the 90s, they would be clueless — yet they know every word to “Otis.”

Netflix and Ambien


After a hard day of shopping and getting their nails done, it’s time to take a break from all the hardships they encountered through the course of the day. Carrying all those bags from Barney’s to her driver outside can be hard work. Well, after a long day, what can be more relaxing than Netflix and Ambien?

Whole Foods


Since many of these women don’t cook for themselves, it is important that they not only eat healthy, but stay trendy. Nothing says healthy eating while being fashionable like Whole Foods. Remember it’s less about the healthy eating and more about the trendiness of Whole Foods that keeps these girls coming in. Who cares if it’s overpriced when you have daddy’s credit card to pay for it?

Their Little


White girls love joining sororities. It’s like social climbing for college. While daddy thinks his little princess is being all good, studying and doing well in school, he has absolutely no idea what goes on in the sorority house. All girls love their littles because of how innocent they are and it’s their job to corrupt them and have them make the same mistakes they have made. It’s just one big f*ckfest. I mean what’s not to like about living in a home with all your closest friends scissoring one another, getting all the dick and drugs they want?



Hashtags have become the downfall of society: be it on Instagram, Twitter and some even go as far as Facebook. For white girls, there is no point in putting up a photo if it doesn’t have at least 7 hashtags. They are thirsty for likes and comments and need to get their crappy selfie or photo of food as much exposure as possible. They spend more times writing hashtags than anything and if they forget one, you can see them go back in the comments to add more. The hashtag craze is among us and here to stay — thanks to white girls.



Apparently, a selfie a day keeps the doctor away…No…but really what is the craze with selfies? There was a reason why your modeling career didn’t pan out, couldn’t you just take the hint then? If no one is liking your selfies, it’s time you found a different type of photo to put on Instagram. Every girl has her good side and each self is the same pose, but in a different setting. It’s almost like watching a collage of the same photo with slightly varied backgrounds.

Hand Sanitizer


If there is one item all white girls have in their purse (besides Xanax and Plan B), it’s definitely Hand Sanitizer. As many of them are germophobes, they feel that hand sanitizer is God’s gift to humanity. After any activity or hand shake, you can catch them going into their purse and pulling out the hand sanitizer.

Hunter Boots


White girls love Hunter Boots and the fact that they come in multiple styles and colors does not help. These have become a staple in every white girl’s closet. Some girls live for rainy days, just so they can put their Hunter Boots on. They may be great for rainy days, but it sure gets tiring when you see every Long Island JAP with a pair.

Workout Pants


Lululemon has easily become the hottest brand for yoga gear. They have fully taken advantage of the whole yoga trend and made wearing workout pants fashionable. Work out pants have become a must now. White girls will make any excuse to wear workout pants, as they get to show off their thin bodies.

Social Climbing


Every white girl wants to be the center of attention and be the envy of all her friends. Social climbing has become a sport to white girls and it can be seen in every aspect of society, from college to the real world. In college, you have Greek Life; in the real world, you have Fashion Week and clubs.

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Eddie Cuffin

Eddie Cuffin likes to stir up controversy. He is the persona of a man who gets the people talking, with his cynical and satirical take on New York City and American culture.

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