The hardest thing about dating is knowing that unless you're getting married, you will, eventually, be breaking up. And while it's inevitable, how you and your significant other conduct the dismantling of the relationship says a lot about the two of you.
There’s as much etiquette for breaking up with someone as there is for asking someone out. Just like how you might judge a guy for asking you out over text message, you will judge him for ending it over one.
If you start dating a woman while she’s cheating on her boyfriend, she may end it with you the same way. There's a lot to be said about people's characters from the way they enter relationships and the way they leave them.
We’re all sensitive. We’re fragile creatures who take off what little armor we have for people we barely know. We enter the lion's den, assuming the lions are our friends, our protectors.
As we become more comfortable, we give them more of our trust and expose more of our already fragile interior. We give them chances to attack us when we’re not looking and opportunities to break our hearts with each day that passes.
Sometimes, however, we trust the wrong people. Sometimes we take down our guard before we’ve secured all the weak spots. Sometimes we allow ourselves to be blinded by the haze of love, rather than noticing the hard facts that are staring right into our trusting eyes. This is what makes relationships so dangerous.
People aren’t always who we think they are. The risk in any relationship is finding out that the person you thought you loved isn't someone you knew at all.
How people leave you, how they put an end to the time you spent, how they show you their true colors, is character-telling. How they exit your life is as important and damaging as how they entered it. While we can’t judge them for leaving, we can judge them for how they leave.
If they stomp all over everything the two of you built or refuse to recognize what you had and treat it with the respect it deserves, you'll know more about them right then and there than any time you spent together.
If they leave you by text: No matter how many characters, they have absolutely no character.
Anyone can construct a text. All human beings can type the words they want to say. Anyone can press send.
Not everyone can look you in the eyes when you read those words. Most people can't tell you straight up why they don’t want to see you anymore.
Not everyone has the strength to end things in a way that doesn't involve emojis and blinking screens. Those people are weak; they are the kind of people you don't want in your life. They are the kind of people who put more value into their texts than their words.
If they leave you with a phone call: They can call it like it is, but they'll never know what it means to have a real connection.
So they might know how to put the words in your ears, but they don’t have the dignity to give you the real connection you need for a proper breakup.
They are the same type of people who post misleading Tinder photos: They can hide behind their phones, but when the truth comes out, they are exposed for who they really are... even if they never show their face.
If they leave you over coffee: They have luke-warm intentions and will always be a little bitter.
Are they trying to ruin the taste of coffee for you forever? You've spent nights together sharing secrets and standing naked in front of each other, and you're going to end it over a french roast? You're going to tell me you don't want to be together over drinks that don't contain any alcohol? You're going to do it while I'm around all these strangers and judging baristas?
Breaking up with somewhere in public is about as inhumane as wearing fur to a PETA conference. Just because you're in public doesn't mean you won't get bitch slapped.
If they are caught in the act: They’re are as fake as the “500-thread count” they hide under.
If you're going to end it with someone, end it with your words, not your actions. There's nothing worse than finding out someone doesn't love you than by finding that person loving on someone else.
If you're going to start giving into the temptation and the urges, at least have the respect and courtesy to do it after you've taken away all of your partner's urge and temptation for you.
If they leave you by "ghosting:" They're about as real as the text they never sent.
No response isn't an acceptable response. Even worse than texting someone to break up is not texting when breaking up. Leaving it up in the air like that is like playing hide-and-seek and never looking. It's just a dick move.
It's also something that someone who has any sort of soul would never do. So it's a good thing you're over it because that person is clearly deranged.
If they leave you with an email: They have a serious complex.
They don't actually want to break up with you, they just want to write a sappy love letter. Just because you're in cyberspace doesn't mean real-world rules don't apply. Anyone who sends an email is just looking for you to turn it into Reddit gold.
These people don't deserve a reply back or a spot on your Gchat. They are the epitome of rude and uncool. You wouldn't want to receive an email from them while you were together, so just take this is a sign that they've got really bad taste.
Photo Courtesy: We Heart It
