We Need To Stop Taking Things So Damn Personally
Why do so many people assume that others' actions revolve around them? People tend to get caught up in petty drama, which typically occurs when one person takes something the wrong way. When it comes down to it, you're in control of how you interpret things. Think of how much more you could achieve with a new perspective, one seen only through your eyes.
Taking things personally is a downfall of many relationships, which is why this is such a crucial lesson to learn. The problem is that we start to find faults within ourselves when we take things to heart. If someone says something to you and it's not true, why are you even entertaining this idea? Why are you wasting your time considering an ignorant person's opinion?
“Ideally, people would be more considerate of your feelings, but this will not always happen. Therefore, when this person says or does something that normally upsets you, remember that they are living through their own point of view, just like you are. If this point of view results in a hurtful comment, it's nothing personal, because this person wasn't thinking about you in the first place!”– Huffington Post
People do not take external factors into mind when thinking about someone else's behavior. Your friend doesn't text you back, so you think this is a personal attack; you fail to take into consideration that maybe this person was extremely busy and did not have the time to pick up their phone.
Most things are not intended to offend others, so there is no reason to make the assumption that it is a personal attack. If someone wanted to insult you, they will do so in a way that is direct. You won't have to wonder if this is a personal attack or not, typically when someone seeks to insult you, you will most definitely know it.
“Try not to take things personally. What people say about you is a reflection of them not you.”
When you hear a comment that you think is directed at you, take a moment and think. Do not over analyze the situation at hand, just let the other person speak freely. Listen completely to what this person is saying – selective hearing is the cause of these misinterpretations. People jump to conclusions everyday and tend not to look for the best in people. More than likely this is not an attack on you, but simply this person's thoughts and beliefs.
For many people, taking things personally is unavoidable because they are insecure by nature. The only way to solve this problem for this type of person is to boost their self-esteem. If you are really concerned that this is an attack on your character, ask the person point blank to clear up any miscommunication. It is helpful to put yourself in the other person's shoes and try to see things from their perspective.
When you take a step back, you are more likely to accurately hear the message for its true intentions, not the connections you are likely to draw. The problem is that when we evaluate the message from our own perspective, it's easy to jump to false conclusions.
“You are never responsible for the actions of others, you are only responsible for you.”
Once you come to the realization that the world is impersonal and does not revolve around you, you will you be happier. The notion that “everyone is out to get you” needs to become a thought of the past. The issue is that a significant amount of people are insecure about their own reality and as a result tend to read these apprehensions into the words of other and take them personally.
Even if this were an intentional attack, what people say about others usually says much more about themselves in the process. Kind people will say kind things whereas cruel people will say cruel things. Let them broadcast who they are and what they stand for and then consider whether you have any compassion for those who wish to inflict their suffering on those around them. You need to remember that nothing anyone says about you will come close to defining who you are, only you can do that.
It's truly astonishing how people will put their own beliefs onto others. When people spew venom, it typically has nothing to do with the person they are speaking to. When people intentionally say cruel and hurtful things, this is a reflection of their true character. Many times I have been crushed by someone's tactless comments, but I've learned to evaluate it and take what is true, if anything even is, and disregard the rest. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
Do not allow inconsequential people's opinions and words to get you down. It is your life you get to choose which words will affect you and which will not. Life is too short to concern yourself with people whom you believe to put you down. You have to choose to focus your attention on something else — something positive.
There are tons of things that cross our paths, you just have to actively choose the right things to concentrate on. You have to learn to pay attention to what you're allowing in your life. Try not to linger on negative commentary for too long or at all.
“A pessimist sees only the dark side of the clouds and mopes; a philosopher sees both sides and shrugs; an optimist doesn't see the clouds at all, he's walking on them.”
An issue many people experience in life is that they allow other people's opinions to influence how they see themselves. We make the mistake of accepting the judgment of others as an absolute truth. Do not grant others the power to define who you are or how you feel about yourself; this is something you need to remain in control of.
Start building your life based on your own convictions. Be part of a circle that you can identify with, not one you feel the need to impress.
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