No New Friends: Why It's Okay To Be Friendless In Your 20s
Graduating from college comes with many changes. The most significant would be the loss of friendships, as you move away from your old life and into another. It's natural to find yourself with only a handful of real friends left to drink with on Friday nights and confide in on Sunday mornings. But what happens when you start hating even those friends?
Because it's more than just a strange distance between you and your so-called best friends. It's a hardening that you swore would never happen to you as you begin to resent the very people who you swore to love forever. You suddenly lack those strong emotional ties that bonded you together in college and begin to grow bitter and resentful of the few people still around you.
Many people try to hold on to friendships far too long. But like lovers, sometimes you grow out of each other. When there is nothing left to bond you together but distant memories and a love of brunch, it become difficult to sustain the friendship. Conversations become tense, phone calls become less common and it only take a few vodka shots before you really start to tell them how you feel.
A hard thing for many millennials is the idea of being alone. They think they have to maintain superficial friendships just so they can have a slew of Instagram pictures, retweets and a plethora of social media friendships. But all of that is fake. It's artificial, one-dimensional friendships that lead to nothing but wasted time and energy and keep you from maturing into the person you need to become.
You can't help it, everyone f*cking pisses you off. It's not their fault, but it's not yours either. You are alone in this world and the sooner you realize that, the better.
Your life is about you and no one else. You have your family and your friends, but sometimes you need to concentrate on the only person who really matters and you shouldn't have to apologize for that. It's not a bad thing to spend a Saturday night alone. It's okay to have brunch by yourself. Because at the end of the day, it's healthy to be alone. These are all the reasons it's okay to feel like you hate everyone right now.
No One Will Ever Truly Accept You For All Your Flaws
Even your best friend will find things about you that they don't like. Whether it's your feet that always smell or how you chew your gum too loudly. Their resentment will show and you will start to feel inadequate. But you shouldn't care what anyone thinks about you, especially your best friend. You have enough stress as it is and trying to hide your real self for someone isn't worth it.
Everyone Will Eventually Disappoint You
They will always let you down. No one in this world is out for your best interests. Everyone is in it for themselves. Even if they are your best friend, if they needed to, they would screw you over. It's human nature and you can't blame them for it because you would do the same thing.The sooner you stop relying on other people, the better. Because at the end of the day, the only person you can really count on is yourself.
No One Will Ever Be Able To Give You Exactly What You Need
You think you need friendship, but you need everything that comes with friendship and that requires time and love. You find friends based on mutual interests, which included alcohol, drugs and hungover Sundays. But you are out of college and you need people who are going to offer more than just superficial qualities to help you improve your life. Right now everyone is out for themselves and no one will be able to give you the attention and time you deserve.
They Will Hold You Back
Even your best friend will resent you for you successes. If they are not on the same path as you, they will not care that you are getting a raise and succeeding. They care about themselves and how you fit into their mediocre life. Once you start working, you realize that your weekends are precious and need to be spent productively. Spending it with people who do nothing to improve your life is not going to help you.
They Always Want Something
Whether it's your time, advice or money, everyone will always want something from you. This is a hard truth that comes with age. Like your parents always said, nothing in this life is free, and that includes friendships. The sooner you accept that, the better off you will be.
Top photo via HBO/Girls
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