One of the biggest regrets a person can have is not when they make poor decisions; in fact, the biggest regret is having others make your decisions for you. Be it unreasonable parents, cynical has-beens, or even college classmates who seem to have more success than you, if you rely on the approval of others you will never attain satisfaction and self-content.
Hundreds of millions fall victim to living rank and file lives, millions more take orders and have decisions made for them every day. If you cannot exert free, creative will, then you are probably not be living up to your full potential.
“A truly strong person does not need the approval of others any more than a lion needs the approval of sheep.”
Approval seeking behavior is one of the more destructive traps in a society programmed to excel by pleasing your superiors: We are trained from a young age to be approval seekers, always looking for a reward from others instead of a reward from oneself. So, unless you want to be the kindergartner who still plays nice with others for a gold star, quit the automatic glance towards your peers for approval.
We see it everywhere: social networks that have options to “like” or “re-tweet” yours or others’ statuses and photos just for approval; corporate newsletters tout the most amiable employees; membership programs reward you for spreading their company name to the most new customers, effectively turning you into their billboard.
Why waste your time serving others when you can use your time valuable serving yourself? When you are too concerned with what other people think of you, you then begin to start sabotaging your life instead.
With a constant feeling of uncertainty when you do not receive approval, you begin to feel like almost nothing you are doing is ever good enough for anyone. If your arbiter of success is a smile from every person you come into contact with, then you have a long way to go. Success is a personal goal you need to outline from the start, and as you achieve your goals you will find yourself feeling happy with your progress in life.
Notice the word “your” here, these goals are completely your own. While although advice from a mentor is beneficial, that is not our concern. We are talking about approval seeking behavior where it is not needed. You should be able to achieve satisfaction within yourself at all times.
Of course this task is easier said then done, so that is why we have composed several reasons why you should let go of such degrading behavior.
“Care about people’s approval and you will be their prisoner” Lao Tzu
9. You Can’t Ever Please Everyone
No matter what you do, and no matter how hard you try, it will be almost impossible to please everyone. There will always be haters that come out and there will always be people who will talk about you and your “incorrect” way of thinking, living, behaving and doing.
Even worse are the cynics who experienced failure themselves, and expect the same for all others. If you truly take every person’s advice with equal weight, you will rarely be able to make a decision for yourself.
“You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.”
8. You Can Live A Very Happy Life Without Anyone’s Approval
You as a person are no less, or no more, based on how many people like and approve you. From our youth we are given the impression that the most successful is somehow the result of being the most popular. There will always be those who do not like you at all. But you would be the fool to believe there is anything wrong with you. You are already whole and complete as a person, and do not need other people to make you happy. Happiness begins with self-content.
7. You Cannot Control What Other People Think Of You
You have a better chance of having a successful relationship with Kim Kardashian than you can control what others think of you. In the world we live in today, there are hundreds of mixed beliefs, so there will never be universal consensus on any topic.
There is no such a thing as right and wrong, but rather perception. What you might see as right many others will surely deem wrong, and vice versa. Because it is impossible to change their outlook, you should channel your energy into improve yourself rather then trying to impress others.
6. Approval Seeking Behavior Drains Your Energy.
Everytime you worry about others approving your behavior you are losing valuable energy that you can easily use on other things. If that wasent bad enough you are also wasting your time and as we all know time is one of the mroe limited resources that we have during our existence.
5. Be Who You Want To Be
Once you begin to let go of your approval seeking behavior, you will no longer care about what other people think of you. It is as simple as being yourself and doing the things you want to do. This automatically ceases the limitations you once held on your decision making. You have no idea how much freedom comes with letting go of your need to control what other people think of you. Your mind will feel a sense of purity it has not felt in a while.
4. Internal Peace
We all seek peace within our mind and within our hearts. We all thrive to be happy, as is everyone’s goal in life. The moment you stop caring about what other think about you, then you will eventually find the internal peace you have been seeking.
“When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others.”
3. Control Your Own Life
Life is something that should never be taken for granted. Luckily for you, you control your life and make your own decisions. Live your life the way that best suits you by letting go of the approval seeing behavior that is within you.
2. The Only Approval You Need Is Your Own
If you like and approve of yourself, trust us, you will no longer care or nor will it even concern you if people approve of you as well. The best way to piss people off is to be happy with oneself and be confident as well. When people see that your happy, you will notice their envy will grow; this only proves that you should not have sought their approval in the first place.
1. You Now Control Yourself
Eventually you see yourself getting to a point where you do not need to care what others say, or think concerning your actions. It is a waste of time to concern yourself with the lives of others. Often what people criticize you far are shortcomings of their own. It only goes to show that the quickest way to succeed is self-acceptance, and self-criticism. Observe others, and work towards self-approval