How To Stomach The Destiny’s Child & Justin Timberlake Comebacks

How To Stomach The Destiny’s Child & Justin Timberlake Comebacks
Music News

It looks like the Gods of early 2000’s R&B have finally awoken to answer our collective prayers. Destiny’s Child and Justin Timberlake rocked the boats of music blogs last week when they both announced their first batch of new music since 2004 and 2006, respectively.

Destiny’s Child will see Beyonce returning to work with Michelle Williams and Kelly Rowland for Love Songs, a compilation of the groups most notable, well, love songs, to drop on January 29. Timberlake, on the other hand, announced “The 20/20 Experience,” an album of completely new material due sometime later this year. Classes of 2002-2008 all over the world simultaneously fainted upon hearing the news.

Never the types to keep us waiting (unless you count that whole eight year musical lacuna thing), both camps offered up a recent teaser of what’s to come.

Destiny’s Child released “Nuclear,” a track that puts Pharrell back behind the board and serves as Love Songs’ sole original track. Last night, JT dropped “Suit & Tie,” reuniting the singer-turned-actor-turned singer with long-time collaborator Timbaland. So, great! We can get back to more Survivors and Justifieds, right?

Not exactly. “Nuclear” is absent of the string-blasts and snare rides that made bangers like “Soldier” and “Bills, Bills, Bills” so much fun, nor does it share the R & B grooves of tracks like “Say My Name.” Instead, it plods lazily on Pharrell’s beachy synths, blending the three voices into one indistinguishable croon. It’s by no means a bad song, but one can’t help but wonder how strange it would have sounded had it debuted on Destiny Fulfilled.

Justin, definitely the more experimental of the two acts, graced us with a codeine-dripped take on an amalgamation of disco and R Kelly, and thankfully, it works ever so well. “Suit & Tie” chops and screws itself, flipping between something close to what we might expect the former N’SYNC star to produce after Futuresex and a drugged-out anthem for 3:00 AM.

There are a couple of cringe-worthy lines (we know why it’s called a fatty, Justin) and, though he does kill it as usual, Jay-Z’s presence does actually seem a bit obligatory. But there are no Neptunes fills, no vocal stairs, and (thank God) no beat-boxing.

So what does this mean for the 90’s babies? We’ve made nostalgia our top priority, and as we attempt to pass 2012 through an Instagram filter so we can rightly discuss it alongside Pogs and old Nickelodeon cartoons, we demand that a return to our joyous youth in the form caliber of a Justin Timberlake/Destiny’s Child comeback that better stay the hell away from change.

But here we are, struggling to choke down two new songs from two of our old favorites, and frankly, neither tracks are anything close to what we would have expected. That’s not to say, however, that we won’t come to understand to their interpretation of modern music and welcome back their creativity with open arms.

Maybe these comebacks will serve as a lesson to us all as we adjust our ears for 2013 – let’s all do our best to look forward instead of behind us, because if one thing’s for sure, neither JT nor our three favorite divas are showing any sign of slowing down.

Christian Craig | Elite. 

Share Tweet
React
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

Serge Efap

Meet Serge, the former fratstar turned self-proclaimed Renaissance Man. Hailing from New York City, he grew up quickly and learned that if you want something, you have to go get it for yourself. When he's not reminiscing about the glory days, you can find him searching for the next big thing.

More In Music News

Music News Kristen Lyn Ingram

The Lineup For TomorrowWorld 2014 Is Here And Full Of Huge Names

The first artist announcement for TomorrowWorld 2015 has officially dropped, and the anticipation was definitely worth the wait! A music festival of epic proportions spawned off Belgium’s incredible TomorrowLand, TomorrowWorld is headed for Chattahoochee Hills, Georgia September 26-28th, bringing along some superstar talent for the ride. Headliners will include Tiësto, Avicii, Zedd and Kaskade with […]

Music News Kristen Lyn Ingram

Ultra Wins Victory Over City Council, Festival To Remain In Miami

It’s been a hard road for Ultra after security breaches this 2014, giving motivation for city officials to be intent on banning the festival completely. Going so far as to compile a “worst-of” video compilation of the festival, city commissioner Marc Sarnoff and mayor Thomas Regalado have fought to recall UMF’s permits from Bayfront Park, home of the 3-day […]

Music News Doran Miller-Rosenberg

Hipsters Aren’t Welcome In The House Of Hip Hop

Weeks ago an article appeared on Rap Rehab (“where consciousness lives”). In it, the author argued “satirically” that children should be protected from rap music: “Let me be the first to say it. I can be an extremist. So I have no problem admitting that I’m a self-proclaimed hater. I hate commercial rap, especially the […]

Music News Doran Miller-Rosenberg

The Company Behind Your Favorite Rapper’s Favorite Cough Syrup Will Stop Making ‘Lean’

Actavis, perhaps the most popular and recognizable brand of lean (promethazine and codeine cough syrup) is stopping production. They cited media attention and glamorization of the unlawful, dangerous uses of the drug, which of course, they never intended people to do. They also didn’t profit off it too much, or at least won’t anymore. It’s […]

Also On Elite

Envision

11 Ways Dogs Show They Care About Earth Way More Than We Do (Photos)

In case you’ve been sleeping under a rock, today is Earth Day! If you have actually been sleeping under a rock, that’s one obscure way to celebrate. Today is the day when we try and do our part to actually make our planet a healthier place by recycling, cleaning up and giving our go-to resources […]

TV

9 Moments That Remind Us Why We Love “How I Met Your Mother”

With March 31 quickly approaching, we can’t help but get sentimental about the series finale of “How I Met Your Mother.” Barney and Robin are finally getting married, Marshall and Lily finally made a decision about Italy and Ted finally found the woman of his dreams. Even though everything seems to be falling into place for the […]

Envision

These Photos Of Children And Their Bedrooms Around The World Will Make You Appreciate All That You Have

Believe it or not, not every child has an unlimited amount of Barbie dolls, Hot Wheels race tracks and next generation game systems. As a matter of fact, some kids have absolutely nothing. In a recent project conducted by James Mollison, the Kenya-based photographer decided to capture both spectrums of the world’s youth. The project, titled “Where Children […]

Life

6 Reasons You Should Be Your Own Best Friend In This World

I am my own best friend. I am the one who dries her tears and listens to her sorrows. I am the one who wakes her in the middle of the night and laments with her over past regrets. I’m the one who tells her she’s beautiful and supports her passions and innermost desires. I […]