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Oreo Debuts Swedish Fish-Flavored Cookie And It's Blasphemy

by Tim McGovern
Oreo

This is just unnatural.

Oreo had previously released two new flavors, Blueberry Pie and Fruity Crisp, back in June, which is fine.

I mean, I like my Oreos to be dependable, but I swallowed my pride (and my milk and Oreo) and said, "fine."

But now, Oreo has gone too far. They've violated the laws of science and created a Frankenstein monster of a cookie, and they need to be stopped.

Get ready to write your representative in Congress and grab a coffee. You're going to be up all night writing this doozy of a letter.

According to a spokesperson for Nabisco, Oreo is selling Swedish Fish Oreos -- yeah, Swedish Fish, you know... that candy marine animal that gets stuck in the crevices of your teeth for years at a time!

No. No, this is too much. Man was not meant to meddle with this many flavors at once. I fully expect this from a madman like Willy Wonka, but Nabisco? For shame.

Fortunately, the cookie will only be available at Kroger, which is a supermarket chain. If you go to a Kroger, your choice is simple...

Disney

Sure, the cookie is keeping its normal, twistable wafers, but instead of getting the crème we all know and love, in its place will be a red frosting comprised of the chewy substance of those candy aquatic creatures.

I mean, what's next? Twix-flavored Skittles? A Three Musketeers bar infested with gummy worms? Nope. Just infinite nope to all of this.

If Swedish Fish Oreos spread beyond Kroger then, I hate to say it, Oreo might not be "Milk's Favorite Cookie" for much longer.

Citations: Oreo Debuts Swedish Fish-Flavored Cookies Because Why Not (People)