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Obama Made His Pardoned Turkeys Wish They Died After These Dad Jokes

Let's agree that 2016 has been a terrible year.

I could go on about the iconic celebrities who have died, the terrible atrocities people have faced, awful natural disasters, this year's election season…

On top of that, the turkey Obama pardoned in 2009 has died. Fittingly enough, the turkey's name was “Courage,” and he died two days ago…

Every year, the president of the United States, arguably the most powerful position in the world, takes time to pardon a turkey from certain death.

It's a ridiculous ceremony, as most traditions are, but we all approach it with a sense of humor (except the bird who will die).

Thankfully, our current POTUS is also a master of “Dad Jokes,” which means we can have a little comfort this holiday season while we fight with our real relatives about politics.

The video above proves that Obama has been pardoning turkeys for years using some of the best dad jokes ever written by dad-kind.

While President Obama this year pardoned two turkeys named Tater and Tot, he spoke of what a silly honor it was,

It is my great privilege — well, it's my privilege — actually, let's just say it's my job to grant them clemency this afternoon.

For the first time since Obama began his terms as president, his daughters Sasha and Malia were not in attendance. Instead, he hosted his nephews Austin and Aaron Robinson.

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You gotta give it to Sasha and Malia — they played along for as long as they could.

Obama said his two daughters had a scheduling conflict, but we're sure it has nothing to do with what he described as his “corny-copia of dad jokes about turkeys.”

So, even though his daughters didn't join him this year, he had plenty of jokes. Here are some highlights from this year's pardoning ceremony:

What I haven't told them yet is we are going to do this every year from now on. No cameras, just us, every year. No way I'm cutting this habit cold turkey.

We should also make sure everyone has something to eat on Thanksgiving. Of course, except the turkeys, because they're already stuffed.

When somebody at your table tells you that you've been hogging all of the side dishes, you can't have any more, I hope that you respond with a creed that sums up the spirit of a hungry people: ‘Yes, we cran.'

And so let's get on with the pardoning. Because it's Wednesday afternoon and everyone knows that Thanksgiving traffic can put people in a foul mood.

Obama, don't leave us…

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Hope Schreiber

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Hope Schreiber was raised on a mountain in New York and somehow found her way to LA. She is an expert in folklore, demonology, and can pronounce 'charcuterie.'
Hope Schreiber was raised on a mountain in New York and somehow found her way to LA. She is an expert in folklore, demonology, and can pronounce 'charcuterie.'

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