This Sex Doll Actually Scared Away Burglars, Is The Hero 2017 Deserves

Not all heroes wear capes. Some are sex dolls... named Shela Louise.

A group of thieves who broke into a West Sussex, UK art shop were so frightened by a 6-foot sex doll, they left without taking a great deal of the shop's loot. Contrary to popular belief, the burglars were not a murder of crows unused to such a sexy scarecrow.

Shop owner and caricaturist Derrick Thompson believes Shela, who sits on a couch inside the store, spooked the robbers so much they only took roughly $1,200.

Sure, $1,200 is still quite a large sum, but as long as the thieves didn't take the real treasure -- Sheila -- then all was not lost.

An assistant in the store, Paul Smith, said,

Shela wouldn't have done much when they broke in, but she must have freaked them out and sped up the theft.

Derrick purchased "the stereotypical, perfect girlfriend" so customers could pose next to her. If I ever buy a sex doll, that'll be my exact excuse as well.

Derrick has even created a Facebook account for Shela, whom he calls a mannequin girlfriend rather than a sex doll.

Shela has over 1,500 friends, which is a lot for an inanimate object. Want something to instantly depress you? Think about the fact a sex doll might have more friends than you.

According to Derrick, his girlfriend Nina (a real person) came up with Shela's name. Shela is an Australian term for a woman and Louise was the name of a girl Derrick met in college that apparently bares a resemblance to the sex doll.

I'm not sure how flattering that'd be for the real-life Louise to hear, but seeing as how the sex doll is now a legend, I wouldn't complain if it were me.

Derrick said of the sex doll,

It's a thing that generally, Western society likes. It's a blonde, tall, beautiful girl.

Wow, OK. That's a lot to unpack right there, Derrick.

For now, I'm just going to focus on how Shela is basically the hero 2017 deserves.

Citations: Thieves scared away from shop by owner's sex doll (Metro)