10 Reasons Why The iPhone 5 Sucks

10 Reasons Why The iPhone 5 Sucks
Technology

The iPhone 5 not only sucks, it may in fact be less convenient than the iPhone 4. America stood in brutal lines for days this past weekend to wait for the release of a smartphone that was hyped on little if any valuable evidence.

We at Elite picked up our iPhone 5′s  through our friends who work at Apple and not by standing in lines. This turned out to be a rather smart thing to do considering we soon discovered that this new phone is nothing more than an over-hyped, overpriced pain in the ass not worth waiting for.

We hate to burst the bubbles of those excited for the greatest smart phone to ever come out, but this phone is more stressful than it is fun to use. Anyone who has given a good review of this product either holds Apple stock or is being paid to do so. After days of hands on experience, here are ten reasons why the new iPhone 5 just sucks, for everybody.

10. It’s the same thing as the 4 and 4s

The phone literally has the same functionality as these two previous releases if you just download the iOs 6 upgrade. This upgrade will make your iPhone 4 or 4s have just as much internet speed and battery life as the iPhone 5. It’s literally the same thing,  just a quarter of an inch smaller.

9. Apps are mis-sized

Because some genius decided to make the screen longer (instead of wider) without notifying the millions of apps that iPhone users have to change their styling and formatting, we are left with apps that are not sized correctly. Now there is an ugly black spacebar underneath some apps.

8. It’s thinner so the chances of breaking are higher

In case you didn’t know, Americans have spent $6 billion dollars fixing their iPhones since its first release in 2007. Get ready to see that number go up because the new iPhone is more fragile than Chris Bosh. The iPhone 5 is thinner and longer and with all laws of physics considered, that means it has more of a probability to break.

7. Impossible to text

One of the biggest issues we had with the old iPhones is that the touch screen made texting rather difficult.  One would think that Apple would recognize this issue and make a bit of a wider screen  so that your thumbs wouldn’t hit each other when trying to press some of the keys in the middle. Instead it’s thinner, so now you will press more unintentional letters on the screen and hit each other when typing something even more than before.

6. Siri is still an idiot

Siri was cool for about a week and a half after its release on the iPhone 4s. If you ask any iPhone user, they will tell you they barely use it because she gives you wrong information after mishearing just about every command. Siri hasn’t gotten much smarter in the iPhone 5, still bombarding the user with facts and figures you weren’t even looking for.

5. There will be a 5S

There will undoubtedly be a 5s that might actually have some beneficial additions to it. We know this because of two reasons. One is because this phone sucks way too much and leaves so much room for improvement.

The other reason is the fact that they saw thousands of people order this new phone without any knowledge as to why they needed it, so why not repeat the process with some actual noticeable differences? If this many people stood on lines for a phone they knew nothing about, who knows how many will camp out overnight for a phone with something more to offer?

4. Connector is different 

Remember those good old days when you could walk into any place whether it be a restaurant or a friend’s apartment and  almost be sure you will be able to charge your phone? The same charger that worked for various Apple products also conveniently could charge every type of iPhone.

We are sad to report that those days are over, as Apple decided to change the size of the connector that the charger plugs into on the bottom of the phone. Now, the standard Apple charger that fit every phone for the past five years no longer fit into the iPhone 5.

3. Some people already got theirs broken

There are reports from all around the country that some people managed to receive a phone that was already broken when they took it out of the box . There have been reports of dented screens in delivery boxes as well.

2. The size

This thing is huge. It almsot feels like you’re carrying around a long mini tablet intead of a smart phone. Apple needer a wider screen not a long one. It is uncomortable to hold and to even have in your pocket. Technological advances as of late have usually reached new levels of convenience by being on the smaller side, no?

1. Ridiculously priced

At $600, these smart phones are getting a bit too out of hand. Their costs are only around the 50-100 dollar range to produce so making 500% profit on it seems to be a bit unfair.  They already know a ton of people are going to purchase these phones, so if they lowered the price by a few hundred dollars they would still make a fortune.

Elite. 

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Preston Waters

Preston Waters is a thinker. He's not your traditional philosophical persona, however, as he leaves no topic untouched. Covering all the bases, from business to women, Preston Waters is the ultimate man's man for Gen-Y.

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