10 Reasons Why The ‘Xbox One’ Is Going To Suck

10 Reasons Why The ‘Xbox One’ Is Going To Suck
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It’s been eight years since Microsoft came out with the Xbox 360 and while it was cool while it lasted, fanboys everywhere have been dying to get a glimpse at the next generation of video gaming technology. And on Tuesday, without much forewarning, they unveiled what we’ve all been waiting for. With some disappointing results to say the least.

Not only did they regress in creativity, naming it the Xbox One, but it already seems to lacks an array of features that many of us were hoping for. While it’s still an amazing piece of technology, it is a bit of a let down to see them take more of a home entertainment approach rather than focusing in on the actual gaming aspect of it all.

Sure this is still a bevy of information that we’re still waiting on, but from the initial looks of it, we really don’t f*ck with it. At all. Microsoft continues to disappoint and it makes us wonder… is this it for them? If they cannot continue to innovate, surely will they be swallowed up by the competition. Right?

With Sony keeping their upcoming Playstation under wraps, they are definitely observing and taking into account everything that their rival is doing wrong. And by the looks of it, the head-to-head between the two technology platforms may become a landslide. And not in favor of the Xbox One. It even sounds whack when you say it. These are the 10 reasons why it’s going to suck.

This sh*t is massive


There is no denying that the new Xbox is bulkier than ever. And while it surely has more capabilities, doesn’t it seem kind of counter-productive for them to add all of this mass? Given the exact specs have yet to be revealed, the new console is undoubtedly larger than its past generation counterpart, which has us thinking.

Technology today allows smarter processing systems to be stored in the most compact of devices. But for some reason, the “game console of the future” is bigger. While it still looks pretty sweet, the last thing we want is another space-eater in the living room. Oh well.

The controller doesn’t seem like much of an upgrade


One of the biggest knocks on the Xbox 360 was its big ass controller. While it was pretty clunky, surely they would patch up any deficiencies and optimize it to be better for the new generation. Right?

But upon initial review, not much looks different. Sure the d-pad has been adjusted to no longer be circular, but this is the best they could do? Also the battery pack in the back has been removed so that it no longer protrudes but these are just changes that should have been done in the first place.

What about some innovation? If this is truly the “next generation” then let’s see some real difference. While we can’t say much until we actually use it, we have to say that we are underwhelmed. At least they put rumblers in the triggers. That should make a world of difference, I guess. Probably not though.

You can’t play Xbox 360 games on it


Say what? You mean I can’t play the dozens of games that I’ve accumulated over eight years with the 360 and use it on this new expensive console? That’s pure bullsh*t. There is absolutely no backwards compatibility and this is one of the biggest disappointments about the One so far.

I guess we’ll just have to get used to never picking up those old games again. Microsoft Xbox Live vice president Marc Whitten had this to say about the shortcoming:

“The system is based on a different core architecture, so back-compat doesn’t really work from that perspective.”

You can’t share games with your friends


Look at it this way. Once you use a game on your console, you can’t use it anywhere else. So when you go to your friend’s crib and pop in the game, you’re pretty much assed out. Apparently you need to be signed into your user account to access your disc.

Microsoft bitched us out on this one to assure that we keep buying their products. This is an example of technology working backwards to hurt us. It should be interesting to see if Sony decides to use this tactic in their new Playstation.

Some of the games will need Microsoft’s servers to run


The Xbox One is an internet-based console, meaning that some games will require internet just to play. It doesn’t get much whacker than that. While the reason for this is to free up the processor to handle more tasks on its own, why couldn’t they just have found a better solution?

Xbox Live is still not free


Just like they did with the 360, Microsoft will be charging users to access online content. It’s not like Playstation has been providing free service to their customers for years or anything.

Online capabilities should be free, especially with that big price tag. But once again Microsoft looks to bitch us and take some monthly cash to help power their servers. Just great.

It won’t work without the Kinect


That’s right. They’re making yet another external piece, the motion-censored Kinect, a mandatory part of the Xbox One. That means you won’t be able to use it without it being plugged in. So what’s the purpose of this madness? Xbox’s UK marketing director Harvey Eagle gave us a reason why:

 ”The all new Kinect is now an essential and integrated part of the platform.  By having it as a consistent part of every Xbox One, game and entertainment creators can build experiences that assume the availability of voice, gesture and natural sensing, leading to unrivaled ease of use, premium experiences and interactivity for you.”

Essentially the Kinect will be acting as a traffic cop every time you plug in. I didn’t know Microsoft was playing big brother now.

There’s 500 GB of memory, but you can’t use all of it


Finally some good news: 500 GB of memory on the hard drive. Only one problem though. Apparently you can’t use all of it. Microsoft’s official Xbox One information site contains a significant detail in the small print:

“Xbox One system software uses a significant amount of storage; less internal storage will be available to users.”

The console has to be connected to the internet at least once every 24 hours


Xbox One is so heavy with the internet-based applications that you actually need to be connected daily. Once at least every 24 hours to be exact. What am I supposed to do if my internet goes down? Be assed out for life?

Games and videos will be stored on a cloud, which means you need wi-fi to access them. While this is surely cutting-edge, we just want to play the damn game and not have to depend on internet for our enjoyment. Damn!

Essentially if you’re not hooked up to the internet, you will NOT be able to play. WTF.

Do you really trust Microsoft after having dozens of three red rings of death?


If there’s one thing we can count on Microsoft for, it’s to not be able to count on them at all. Anybody remember those red rings of death? There is nothing more frustrating than popping in COD only to see these damn things flashing on your console.

Then what? I’m supposed to do the “towel trick?” PS3 users never had to deal with any of these issues, so why must Microsoft people have to? Expect another, more advanced version of these rings for the Xbox One as they are just so sh*ttily made. Enjoy!

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Julian Sonny

From the sandy beaches of Hawaii, to the streets of New York: Julian has seen it all. His lifetime of travels has given him a broad scope of knowledge and an eclectic taste unlike any other in the tri-state area. Julian has often been compared to cultural icon, The Rock, because of his unequivocal work ethic and warrior-like stature.

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