Lululemon Issues Hilarious Job Posting In Search Of New CEO

Lululemon Issues Hilarious Job Posting In Search Of New CEO
World

Now that Lululemon CEO Christine Day has announced that she’ll be leaving the company once a replacement is named, the yoga-wear retailer has posted a job description on its website for interested applicants.

Here it is:

Description: You report to no one, you are the CEO (duh). You are passionate about doing chief executive officer type stuff like making decisions, having a vision and being the head boss person.

A Day in the Life of a CEO

- You communicate powerfully, often through Sanskrit

- You are disciplined, focused and can hold headstand for at least 10 minutes

- You’re a long-term thinker. You already have a plan to bring yoga and luon to Mars by 2018

- You break all the rules like getting your OM-on (loudly) whenever the urge arises

- You elevate and cultivate the level of talent within the senior leadership team by holding The Bachelor lululemon. Only one successful SVP will get the final rose

- Not only do you lead the organization to create components for people to live long, healthy and fun lives, you know the secret to how they got the caramel in the Caramilk bar

- You wear The Mansy to lead our company-wide morning chant and kombucha ritual

The Finer Print

- Your go-to party trick is your dead-on impression of the yogi in “Sh*T Yogis Say”

- You voted for Pedro

- You have Chip Wilson, Bill Clinton, Ellen DeGeneres and Oprah Winfrey on speed dial

- You actively live and breathe the lululemon culture – on Friday afternoons you hit up wheatgrass and tequila shots (it’s called work/life balance)

- You use your third eye to channel innovation

- Your lineage is directly related to Phidippides

- You own yoga

Via : Business Insider, CNBC Photo Credit: Tumblr

Share Tweet
React
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

Sean Levinson

Sean Levinson loves writing almost as much as he loves ranting about politics. Elite Daily lets him do both, and he couldn't be happier now that he's finally putting his years at SUNY New Paltz to good use. When he's not writing, Sean enjoys nature excursions, playing the guitar and the Ultimate Fighting Championship. Look for him on "Real Time with Bill Maher," where he regularly appears in his most precious fantasies.

More In World

World Sean Levinson

Forget Raving, MDMA Is Helping War Veterans Cope With Their PTSD

Tony Macie is one of the many Iraq veterans who returned home with post traumatic stress disorder. Doctors gave him anti-depressants but, as usual, they were no use. Thankfully, Tony is very open-minded and had heard of alternative methods of combating PTSD being experimented on in the Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies (MAPS). Those are […]

World Katie Gonzalez

This Anti-Bullying Commercial Means Well But Completely Misses The Mark

Er… this anti-bullying PSA might prove that sometimes, something that is well-intentioned can still fail to deliver. The commercial, produced on behalf of VH1 by advertising agency Del Campo Saatchi & Saatchi, attempts to show how bullying is bad, and the ways in which students can cope after they’ve been victimized by the school’s biggest […]

World Katie Gonzalez

Duke’s ‘You Don’t Say’ Campaign Looks To Eliminate Offensive Sayings From Every Day Speak (Photos)

Duke University’s “You Don’t Say?” campaign totally hits the nail on the head; it’s the 21st century, and there’s some sh*t you just shouldn’t say anymore because it’s offensive and harmful to certain communities. Through black and white images, the campaign highlights some seemingly “harmless” phrases often spoken to serve as a funny one-liner or […]

Also On Elite

Film

George Lucas Lost $40 Million To Steven Speilberg Thanks To A ‘Star Wars’ Bet

“Star Wars” is such a big hit, you would never think there was a time when George Lucas was actually nervous about its success. However, back in the late 1970s, before “Star Wars” hit the big screen, Lucas’ good friend Steven Spielberg was considered the more established director of the two, having just come off […]

Wellness

The Key To Figuring Out Your Path In Life Is To Listen To Your Heart

Have you ever been in such a dark place that it seemed nearly impossible that you would get out? You thought you had everything in perfect order and then, all of the sudden, things got jumbled up. Your priorities become confused and the things that once mattered to you no longer did. You started to […]

Money

Surrounding Yourself With The Right Company Is The Key To Success

You will eventually become a product of the people who surround you; that’s something I learned the hard way. Every one of us has a story and they all contain ups and downs; choices in which we take pride in and decisions we regret making. These could all be difficult memories with which we must […]

Women

30 Ways To Learn To Love Yourself And Be Happy With The World

Many people (including me) speak about “self-love”: figure yourself out, love yourself before you get into a relationship… and so it goes. However, you only truly obtain self-love by having compassion for the self, so you can appreciate and do considerate deeds for others. Along my path to learn about myself and work on my […]

Music News

Is Puff Daddy Qualified To Give A College Commencement Speech?

Sean Combs his Puffy jackets every damn morning. You have to keep your polar bear fur spotless, or the other moguls will notice. Now Puff Daddy has been asked to give a commencement speech at Howard University in May. It’s the school he attended for two years, then dropped out of to begin his lucrative […]