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Arkansas Man Eats 413 Cheddar Bay Biscuits At Red Lobster And Falls Into A Coma

chedday-bay-biscuits-4-small-2
Robert Gordon

A commonly asked question is “how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?” — to which the answer is approximately 720.

A less commonly asked question is “how many Cheddar Bay Biscuits from Red Lobster does it take to put a man in a coma?”

The answer? 413. A man in Little Rock, Arkansas, found this out the hard way. After completely this feat, he was rushed to the hospital and shortly thereafter slipped into a coma.

Kevin Shalin, known as The Mighty Rib, was rushed to UAMS hospital after eating over four hundred of the delicious and cheesy biscuits.

Shalin, according to witnesses, had not been to a Red Lobster since he was five years old.

“He had no clue what to expect,” said local food writer Daniel Walker. “He sat down at the bar while we were waiting on a table and he decided to try one of the biscuits. He thought they were the most wonderful things he ever placed in his mouth.”

Cheddar Bay Biscuits are free of charge for Red Lobster patrons, and each contains a whopping 150 calories and the equivalent of 1/8 of a stick of butter.

“After he ate the first one he looked at us and asked if the biscuits are really free,” said Kelly Gee, another witness. “I said ‘heck yeah those are free, eat as many as you want.’ After about 30 I see him over asking the manager about the record for most biscuits eaten at one time. He just came back and said I think I can do 415, and started really digging in. His beard was covered in crumbs.”

Shalin started losing consciousness after biscuit #412, but still managed to eat one more before falling to the ground and convulsing.

In total, Shalin consumed 51.5 sticks of butter and nearly 62,000 calories.

We hope Mr. Shalin the best in his recovery, which doctors expect him to make. He’s a brave soul who wanted us to know exactly when to stop.

(Yes, this is satirical.)

Via: Rocky City Time, Photo Courtesy: Tumblr

Robert Gordon

Robert Gordon

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