It’s official- I definitely went to the wrong college. Apparently, while I was in the library studying and writing papers, on other college campuses there were fucking in classrooms and having orgies under stairwells. Why did I not see this in any brochure?
University of California Berkeley student Nadia Cho recently started writing a sex column. What was her most popular post thus far? The one where she goes into detail about how she fucked in as many places on campus as possible. Yes- awesome. Since there is nothing more for me to say on this, I will only add that this confirms two things: One, California is the greatest state; And two, Asians are freaky, freaky little things.
“There were two instances in which people walked by the shelves between which my partner and I were going at it hard-core. It was like a game — having to frantically put our clothes back on and immediately pretending to be interested in the data collections of the European Union while panting and giggling hysterically.”
“For a place to have loud ass-slapping sex, the classrooms in the dungeons of Moffitt served us well after Main Stacks because the ground floor of Moffitt was completely deserted. It felt great to have sex in a classroom that I used to hate sitting in for hours without cellphone reception.”
“Doing role play involving a student-teacher or GSI in a classroom like this one is LEGIT. It gives you an idea of how fantastic it would be if your hot GSI pounded you on the front desk every time you forgot to turn in a homework assignment.”
“The next building I chose to desecrate with my perverse ways was Wurster, which happens to be my least favorite building after Evans. Something I learned that day that blew my mind is that there are classrooms in Wurster that lock. With all that privacy, I had just as much fun banging as I did walking around classrooms in lingerie and writing dirty things on chalkboards.”
“Other than providing fun places to get down, Berkeley is the best place to explore your sexuality. Our school is a predominantly safe and accepting space with many places, people and resources to help you discover your sexual self.”
“It is the place where I learned what it means to be queer, to recognize the presence of patriarchy, to attempt polyamory and to become more confident in my sexuality so I could go ahead with new experiences — attending naked parties and orgies and writing a sex column, just to name a few.”
Paul Hudson | Elite.