Major Media Sources Falsely Report Bloomberg Was Refused A Second Slice Of Pizza

Major Media Sources Falsely Report Bloomberg Was Refused A Second Slice Of Pizza
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If you don’t know, The Daily Currant is a fake news site, one that tries to by satirically funny like The Onion.

The only problem is, most of the stories are far from funny, and because they’re so dry, they come off as misinformed and crappy news. In fact, some news outlets have used The Daily Currant as a source for news.

The latest to be duped by The Daily Currant are Drudge Report and Zero Hedge, as they falsely reported that New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg went to a pizzeria in Brooklyn and was refused a second slice of pizza because he had reached his personal slice limit.

This is actually one of their better attempts at satire, poking fun at Bloomy’s tyrannical ways, but it still falls fairly flat, and led some news outlets to report it as legitimate news.

For those interested, here’s the fabricated exchange between Bloomberg and the pizza shop owner:

“Hey, could I get another pepperoni over here?” Bloomberg asked owner Antonio Benito.

“I’m sorry sir,” he replied, “we can’t do that. You’ve reached your personal slice limit.”

Mayor Bloomberg, not accustomed to being challenged, assumed that the owner was joking.

“OK, that’s funny,” he remarked, “because of the soda thing … No come on. I’m not kidding. I haven’t eaten all morning, just send over another pepperoni.”

“I’m sorry sir. We’re serious,” Benito insisted. “We’ve decided that eating more than one piece isn’t healthy for you, and so we’re forbidding you from doing it.”

“Look jackass,” Bloomberg retorted, his anger boiling, “I fucking skipped breakfast this morning just so I could eat four slices of your pizza. Don’t be a schmuck, just get back to the kitchen and bring out some fucking pizza, okay.”

“I’m sorry sir, there’s nothing I can do,” the owner repeated. “Maybe you could go to several restaurants and get one slice at each. At least that way you’re walking. You know, burning calories.”

Witnesses say a fuming Bloomberg and a bemused Liu did indeed walk down the street to a rival pizzeria , ordered another slice and finished their meeting.

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James Gilbert

World news writer James Gilbert is one of the oldest on the Elite Daily writing staff, as he is a borderline Gen Y member. Being considered the dinosaur of the group, he is constantly asked about historical time periods he did not actually live through. All and all, James Gilbert brings that dynamic and balance to the team, rounding out Elite Daily’s Voltron (or that thing the Power Rangers formed for you young whippersnappers.)

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