Man Pulls The ‘Plaxico Burress’ And Shoots Off His Own Penis With Illegal Weapon By Accident

Man Pulls The ‘Plaxico Burress’ And Shoots Off His Own Penis With Illegal Weapon By Accident
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You know how you’ve always wondered how all those guys in movies who place their guns in their pants never shoot their dicks off?

Well, an unfortunate security guard in Rio Claro, Trinidad can now tell you that this is a legitimate concern in the real world.

Police were called to investigate reports of a gunshot coming from a parked car and found a man slumped over the wheel in pain after just shooting his penis clean off.

The security guard was an unnamed 33-year-old who was then rushed to a hospital. Whether doctors were able to reattach anything is unconfirmed.

If this guy’s luck wasn’t bad enough, it turns out that he didn’t have a permit for the gun! Therefore he was charged with illegal possession of a firearm and ammunition.

This only justifies the GOP’s stance towards gun control. Had the security guard’s penis had a gun, none of this would have ever happened.

Sean Levinson | Elite.

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Sean Levinson

Sean Levinson loves writing almost as much as he loves ranting about politics. Elite Daily lets him do both, and he couldn't be happier now that he's finally putting his years at SUNY New Paltz to good use. When he's not writing, Sean enjoys nature excursions, playing the guitar and the Ultimate Fighting Championship. Look for him on "Real Time with Bill Maher," where he regularly appears in his most precious fantasies.

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