Rave Parents: ‘Our Kids Aren’t Taking Enough Drugs’

Rave Parents: ‘Our Kids Aren’t Taking Enough Drugs’
World
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

If there weren’t enough differences between past generations and our own, a recent study shows that drug consumption among 16-24-year-olds is gradually decreasing as of late.

That’s why we can’t blame some of our formerly rave-crazy parents for taking action so we can experience the same fun they did as kids.

“I’ve tried talking my kids into necking pills, but they’re just not interested,” said raver-turned-parent Tom Logan.

“My son is 17 now, he’s into bedwetter-style acoustic folk and thinks repetitive dance music is ‘boring.’

“I’ve even put MDMA in his tea but he won’t drink it because it smells funny.

“I’m not sleeping, I’m just so worried he’s going to grow into a wholesome, reliable worker drone.”

Yes, this is real life.

Mother-of-two Nikki Hollis said: “I remember this warehouse party when DJ Sasha mixed Alison Limerick into an Italian piano anthem just after I’d doubled-dropped top quality White Callies.

“I’ve explained to my kids how fucking amazing this was but they look at me like I’m an idiot.”

17-year-old Peter Logan said: “I don’t know what ‘M25 orbital parties’ or ‘mental gurners’ are and I don’t care.”

A dad who puts MDMA in his son’s tea is worried he’s going to turn into someone he shouldn’t be. Don’t worry, I’m sure your son will become an out-of-control addict just like you were. Looks like you’ll just have to wait a few more years ::sigh::

Sean Levinson | Elite. 

Share Tweet
React
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

Sean Levinson

Sean Levinson loves writing almost as much as he loves ranting about politics. Elite Daily lets him do both, and he couldn't be happier now that he's finally putting his years at SUNY New Paltz to good use. When he's not writing, Sean enjoys nature excursions, playing the guitar and the Ultimate Fighting Championship. Look for him on "Real Time with Bill Maher," where he regularly appears in his most precious fantasies.

More In World

World Alexia LaFata

These Elephants Basically Addicted To Heroin Have Been Rehabilitated And Are Sober (Photos)

Humans aren’t the only candidates for rehab. Four elephants at the Wild Elephant Valley in Yunnan Province, China, were once addicted to opium-laced bananas, but now, after a year-long course of methadone, they are clean. Keepers discovered the elephants were addicted to something when some who arrived at the sanctuary became aggressive and restless. Soon, they ran tests […]

Also On Elite

World

Surprise, Hipsters! Almond Milk Really Isn’t That Healthy, After All

Hipsters, grandmas and health-obsessed mothers are going to be so disappointed to hear that almond milk, the “delicacy” thought to be just a sweet combination of pure almonds and water — so healthy! — is a farce. Tom Philpott of Mother Jones did some investigating. He compared the nutritional value of a one-ounce standard serving […]

Women

Retired Prostitutes Open Sex College To Help Younger Sex Workers Learn The Business

Everyone deserves a happy, fulfilling retirement. Even sex workers. And these retired prostitutes in Zimbabwe opened a “college of sex” to teach a new crop of sex workers about reproductive health, safe sex and tools they need to thrive in the industry. Sex work is not exactly criminalized in Zimbabwe, but it’s illegal to run […]