Rave Parents: ‘Our Kids Aren’t Taking Enough Drugs’

Rave Parents: ‘Our Kids Aren’t Taking Enough Drugs’
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If there weren’t enough differences between past generations and our own, a recent study shows that drug consumption among 16-24-year-olds is gradually decreasing as of late.

That’s why we can’t blame some of our formerly rave-crazy parents for taking action so we can experience the same fun they did as kids.

“I’ve tried talking my kids into necking pills, but they’re just not interested,” said raver-turned-parent Tom Logan.

“My son is 17 now, he’s into bedwetter-style acoustic folk and thinks repetitive dance music is ‘boring.’

“I’ve even put MDMA in his tea but he won’t drink it because it smells funny.

“I’m not sleeping, I’m just so worried he’s going to grow into a wholesome, reliable worker drone.”

Yes, this is real life.

Mother-of-two Nikki Hollis said: “I remember this warehouse party when DJ Sasha mixed Alison Limerick into an Italian piano anthem just after I’d doubled-dropped top quality White Callies.

“I’ve explained to my kids how fucking amazing this was but they look at me like I’m an idiot.”

17-year-old Peter Logan said: “I don’t know what ‘M25 orbital parties’ or ‘mental gurners’ are and I don’t care.”

A dad who puts MDMA in his son’s tea is worried he’s going to turn into someone he shouldn’t be. Don’t worry, I’m sure your son will become an out-of-control addict just like you were. Looks like you’ll just have to wait a few more years ::sigh::

Sean Levinson | Elite. 

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Sean Levinson

Sean Levinson loves writing almost as much as he loves ranting about politics. Elite Daily lets him do both, and he couldn't be happier now that he's finally putting his years at SUNY New Paltz to good use. When he's not writing, Sean enjoys nature excursions, playing the guitar and the Ultimate Fighting Championship. Look for him on "Real Time with Bill Maher," where he regularly appears in his most precious fantasies.

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