Rave Parents: ‘Our Kids Aren’t Taking Enough Drugs’

Rave Parents: ‘Our Kids Aren’t Taking Enough Drugs’
World
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

If there weren’t enough differences between past generations and our own, a recent study shows that drug consumption among 16-24-year-olds is gradually decreasing as of late.

That’s why we can’t blame some of our formerly rave-crazy parents for taking action so we can experience the same fun they did as kids.

“I’ve tried talking my kids into necking pills, but they’re just not interested,” said raver-turned-parent Tom Logan.

“My son is 17 now, he’s into bedwetter-style acoustic folk and thinks repetitive dance music is ‘boring.’

“I’ve even put MDMA in his tea but he won’t drink it because it smells funny.

“I’m not sleeping, I’m just so worried he’s going to grow into a wholesome, reliable worker drone.”

Yes, this is real life.

Mother-of-two Nikki Hollis said: “I remember this warehouse party when DJ Sasha mixed Alison Limerick into an Italian piano anthem just after I’d doubled-dropped top quality White Callies.

“I’ve explained to my kids how fucking amazing this was but they look at me like I’m an idiot.”

17-year-old Peter Logan said: “I don’t know what ‘M25 orbital parties’ or ‘mental gurners’ are and I don’t care.”

A dad who puts MDMA in his son’s tea is worried he’s going to turn into someone he shouldn’t be. Don’t worry, I’m sure your son will become an out-of-control addict just like you were. Looks like you’ll just have to wait a few more years ::sigh::

Sean Levinson | Elite. 

Share Tweet
React

Sean Levinson

Sean Levinson loves writing almost as much as he loves ranting about politics. Elite Daily lets him do both, and he couldn't be happier now that he's finally putting his years at SUNY New Paltz to good use. When he's not writing, Sean enjoys nature excursions, playing the guitar and the Ultimate Fighting Championship. Look for him on "Real Time with Bill Maher," where he regularly appears in his most precious fantasies.

More In World

World Liz Rowley

Your Sleeping Position Can Tell A Lot About The Relationship You’re In (Photo)

How we sleep could be an indication of the strength of our relationship, according to recent findings by the Edinburgh International Science Festival. The research defines particular sleeping positions for couples, such as “face to face, but not touching” and “facing same direction, but touching.” To each of these categories, the study assigns an overall […]

World Liz Rowley

You’ve Never Seen New York City Quite Like This Before (Video)

Do your self a favor and take two minutes to watch this video. Whether you adore the concrete jungle or not, this will ignite new love in audiences far and wide. Posted to Vimeo yesterday, this is an aerial montage of New York City. Shot by Randy Scott Slavin and set to music by DJI Phantom, […]

World Liz Rowley

The Best Neighbor Ever Welcomes New Tenant With Amazing Letter (Photo)

I expected this story to unfold in some scathing and embittered back-and-forth between two tenants. At first glance, my instinct was mistrust and skepticism. This must mean I’ve lived in New York just long enough to be jaded. Needless to say, by the time I finished reading I was ashamed at myself for forgetting that, […]

Also On Elite

Sports

10 Reasons Why Kentucky Fans Are The Best Fans In College Basketball

Big Blue Nation is in mourning today. The Kentucky Wildcats put up a hell of an effort all tournament long only to lose to a worthy opponent in the National Championship game. Congratulations, UConn. You made it. The game itself was a classic, featuring an impressive first half comeback from the Wildcats, a bunch of […]