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Frustrated Husband Creates Hilarious Spreadsheet Of His Wife's Excuses Not To Have Sex

A sexually frustrated husband created an Excel spreadsheet that documented his wife's daily reasons for not having sex with him.

After he emailed it to her from an airport before a business trip, she posted it on the Internet under Reddit username throwwwwaway29. The post has since been deleted, but the actual spreadsheet still exists.

She wrote,

Husband sends a message to my work email…he's never done this, we always communicate in person or by text…

Attached is a spreadsheet of all the times he has tried to initiate sex, with a column for my ‘excuses', using verbatim quotes of why I didn't feel like having sex at that very moment.

The Redditor's husband spent a month compiling the reasons, which include “You're too drunk,” “I still don't feel 100%,” and a few non-verbal rejections.

The spreadsheet shows “yes” three times over the course of almost two months.

I'm sure this wasn't the best way to go about solving his problem, which I'm sure exists in lots of long-term relationships and marriages. Those three golden instances of “yes” will probably decrease to zero after this fiasco.

He sure as hell got her attention, though.

Photo Courtesy: Reddit

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Alexia LaFata

Digital Editor

Alexia LaFata is a Senior Editor. She's a proud New Jersey native and Boston College graduate. When she's not writing, she's watching documentaries, practicing her Cher impression, or eating pasta. Stalk her at alexialafata.com.
Alexia LaFata is a Senior Editor. She's a proud New Jersey native and Boston College graduate. When she's not writing, she's watching documentaries, practicing her Cher impression, or eating pasta. Stalk her at alexialafata.com.

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