Yale Law Student Sends Blistering Open Letter To Classmates Calling Them Out

Yale Law Student Sends Blistering Open Letter To Classmates Calling Them Out
World
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

Law School can be tough, but Yale Law School can kill you — or in the very least make you go insane.

If it’s not enough that you spend hours upon hours on your studies just to pass one exam that will either make or break your career, you have to deal with stuck-up, sensitive, humorless douches.

One student had enough and decided to share his frustration with his classmates on Yale’s public “Wall.” Here it is:

MESSAGE FROM AN ANGRY YOUNG MAN — YALE LAW SCHOOL WALL

Dear tYLS or tWall or whatever dumb shit you call it these days:

I am a second-semester 3L. How exciting. In a surprising turn of events, I decided I want to work for a couple of years at a law firm but eventually try to become a published author, or, if that fails, get a Ph.D. and try to become a professor.

Why am I telling you all of this? It’s because I wanted to thank you all for inspiring me to follow my passions and my dreams. Specifically, these passions and dreams are writing and making fun of people.

I realized I hate law and politics. Why? Because I literally hate like 90% of you, and honestly I don’t really feel like going down the path that involves being stuck with even more people like you who literally have no sense of humor and get offended over literally everything. You think Clarence Thomas hates YLS? Clarence Thomas ain’t got SHIT on me.

I’ve watched as you guys get offended over the dumbest shit and wax political over the dumbest shit. LOL. I mean wow, and seriously, this fucking school. If the sticks up your asses were any larger, you guys would give Muslim extremists a run for their money.

I thought Muslim terrorists were pretty bad for getting offended to the point of wanting to cause physical violence over a drawing, but I’m willing to bet there are a couple of words I could throw out there on this forum that would turn even you guys into rabid angry dogs. Anger. And Hatred. Over a WORD. A FUCKING WORD. USED OUT OF CONTEXT. I’ve come to realize that even at the smartest, most “enlightened” institution, students can be literally retarded and have no basic grasp of logic or rationality.

Also, you guys are a bunch of judgmental shitbags and hypocrites who haven’t understood the concept of “don’t judge a book by its cover” (speaking of metaphorical phrases, ever hear of “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”? How has this somehow been twisted in your fucked-up minds to “words also hurt me too really bad so please stop hurting my feelings you big weenie!”).

You guys openly judged me for not speaking out after the Yale DKE scandal, telling me I didn’t care enough about sexual assault and feminist causes. For your fucking information my sister had been sexually assaulted the winter before, and I had written my senior thesis, law school personal statement, AND 250 on human trafficking/sexual assault.

You guys then criticized the shit out of “monster” parents like Amy Chua and other tiger mothers after the Battle Hymn/WSJ incident, not bothering to think perhaps you might have been seriously offending some Asian students, who, like me, may have grown up under similar circumstances and still loved our parents and knew our parents loved us.

To show you why that is offensive, imagine the extremist reaction if someone on the Wall criticized black or Hispanic culture. I’m not sure how criticizing Asian culture is any different, but I guess we don’t count as people. Finally, in the coup de grace, you guys criticized me for being a flake and giving up on my public interest dreams and going corporate.

Little did you know the reason I decided to go corporate was because my parents, who are making less than $20k to support 4 students (i.e., family of 6), declared bankruptcy the summer before law school and I thought as the oldest son it was my responsibility to do something about it. The affirmative action “debate” was the camel that broke the straw’s back, and actually, that was the first important step that pushed me towards trying to realize my dreams of writing for a living.

So seriously, fuck you guys, you judgmental, uninformed pricks, patting yourselves on the back on top of your goddamn moral high horses. I realize I am killing my future political career. GOOD. If you’ve read The Republic, you know exactly what my opinion of politicians are. I realize I am burning bridges. EXCELLENT.

If I succeed in my passions, I want to make damn sure it is without the help of any of you phony-ass shitdicks. I’ve ALREADY gotten compliments about how inspirational I am, and I haven’t even fucking started yet. That’s the biggest compliment I’ve ever received in my life. It’ll probably take you guys 10-20 years to get that even once, so good luck and keep up the good work! /sarcasm.

In a slightly more serious note–if I could convince even just ONE of you uptight motherfuckers to just relax a little bit, learn to laugh, stop getting so offended over everything, and stop being so judgmental and hypocritical and hurting other people’s feelings in the process, the burnt bridges would be so worth it.

I know I could have waited until the end of the semester to send this, but it would provide me endless entertainment to see the expressions on your stupid-ass faces for the rest of the semester.

TLDR; fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you’re cool, fuck you, I’m out (oh wait, I realized you guys probably don’t even watch movies based on marijuana just in case you get asked about it on the bar, so you probably missed the movie reference. Mea culpa).

Hugs and Kisses,

[Redacted]

p.s. I have a $100 desk chair I bought from Ikea that I don’t want any more and am willing to sell to you for $99.50 OBO.

p.p.s. I know I should probably use the spreadsheet for this but I’m too lazy so I don’t feel like it but I have a torts book for sale that nobody will want to buy since torts isn’t offered this semester but I am going to try to pawn it off anyway.

p.p.p.s. I was wondering if anyone has an extra macbook, preferably a macbook air because that would be easier on my shoulders. Standard offer of good conversation and baked goods apply.

Paul Hudson | Elite. 

Share Tweet
React
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

Paul Hudson

A young writer, philosopher, and entrepreneur, Paul Hudson (@MrPaulHudson) has been writing for Elite Daily nearly since the start. Currently located in Manhattan, Paul Hudson primarily devotes his time between writing for Elite Daily and a mining startup in Turkey. He loves sharing his life experiences with his readers and makes sure to practice what he preaches.

More In World

World Sean Levinson

Malaysia Airlines Made The Worst Mistake Ever By Launching A ‘Bucket List’ Competition

Malaysia Airlines managed to make a complete fool out of itself while simultaneously terrifying potential customers in its latest marketing tactic. According to Time, the world’s unluckiest airline launched a competition in Australia and New Zealand last week giving away free economy-class tickets and iPads. The competition was called “My Ultimate Bucket List,” and contestants […]

World Sean Levinson

Hipsters’ Almond Milk Obsession Is Killing Bees And Salmon And Destroying The Water Supply

Hipsters love their almond milk because it’s healthy and doesn’t come from innocent animals. But that doesn’t mean it’s 100 percent environmentally conscious, as they’d like to think. Actually, it’s quite the opposite. The Atlantic reports that people are consuming such large amounts of almonds that it’s sucking the salmon, bees and what’s left of […]

World John Haltiwanger

ISIS Allegedly Followed Through On Its Threat To Behead American Journalist Steven Sotloff

According to reports, ISIS has released a video of the beheading of American journalist Steve Sotloff. When ISIS beheaded freelance journalist James Foley in August, the militants warned that Sotloff would be next if America did not stop its airstrikes against the extremist group. Unfortunately, and despite his mother’s powerful plea for ISIS to show mercy, […]

Also On Elite

World

SharkCam Gets Amazing Footage When Great Whites Think It’s A Fish And Attack

Scientists from the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution sent an autonomous camera underwater in Guadalupe, Mexico last November to track and film great white sharks. The footage was released about two weeks ago, and it seems that some sharks weren’t too keen on this fish-shaped object following them around. The REMUS, or SharkCam, typically just films sharks […]

Life

Why Teaching Programs In America Aren’t Actually Helping Our Education System

At age 22, I sat in a graduate school classroom and listened as my professor undermined my career. “You,” she said, referring to me, and the majority of my classmates, “are arguably part of the problem. Your program perpetuates this idea that anybody can be a teacher. Doesn’t that hurt the profession? Don’t you feel […]