There are a millions of reasons why you may want to call off your relationship. Maybe it's become clear that you that you and your boo have totally conflicting attachment styles. Perhaps you woke up one morning and realized that you were hopelessly in love with your coworker. Sometimes, there isn't even anything "wrong," but you're interested in taking some time for yourself. Whatever the case, calling it quits with a partner can feel totally intimidating. And if you're thinking you need some time to yourself, knowing some texting signals to send when you want to break up can get the breakup ball rolling.
"When you want to break up with someone, your texting habits change as you consciously or subconsciously try to distant yourself from that person," Claudia Cox, relationship coach and founder of Text Weapon, tells Elite Daily. "You might stop using cute nicknames, whereas before you would throw in a cute 'Hey babe!' Your once flirty, full-of-emoji texts become dry and lifeless, because texting turns into an obligation instead of a pleasure."
If you're thinking you want to break up with your partner, Cox breaks down some texting signals that you should send to get the message across.
If you're feeling a little suffocated in your relationship or you need more time for yourself, Cox shares that sending shorter texts may send a bigger message.
"Everyone is different, but some common ways are avoiding conversations or commitments, neglecting to mention important things, and just giving off a general indifferent attitude of 'Whatever,' Cox says.
If you and your partner normally send each other long texts, cutting your texting convos short can signal that you're not super interested in chatting deeply with them. Maybe you always have to remind your partner that your friend uses they/them pronouns and you're started to get frustrated, or maybe you're tired of always deciding where to eat. According to Cox, if you feel like you need some time or space from your relationship, your texts may not be as patient or kind as they once were.
Of course, it's totally OK to get frustrated with your partner or to have disagreements in a relationship. In fact, dealing with conflict can be a healthy thing. Still, if you find yourself picking fights with them via text or sending more sarcastic messages, it may be time to check in with yourself about where you heart is at.
According to Cox, another signal that you may want to break up is not texting as thoughtfully as you once did. If your messages have already gotten shorter, chances are you're signaling that you're less interested in really engaging with your boo. "You’ll show how emotionally checked out you are through your texts," Cox says. "They ask you how your day was and you answer 'Fine' as you scroll your Insta feed. Or, they have a big presentation at work, and you don’t wish them luck or ask them how it went. Or, they ask you where you guys should go for vacation this year and you reply with something vague like 'I don’t know, that’s so far away.'"
If you're having a busy day at work or school, sometimes it's not possible to send as thoughtful a text as you'd like to. Additionally, if you're not super into texting during the day, you may prefer to have big conversations IRL. However, if you're replying just to be nice or if you're not super interested in speaking with your partner, it may be time for that "We Need To Talk" talk.
If you text your partner every time your coworker eats a smelly sandwich or you like to send them pics when you get your hair cut, you may have developed texting routines in your relationship. According to Cox, breaking those routines/texting friends or family rather than your partner can be a big signal that you're ready to walk away.
"There are subtle changes too, like who you reach out to when something good or bad happens," Cox says. "Before, you would have texted your partner about your big news, whether it’s a promotion or a huge fight with your parents, but now you rely on a someone else for support."
Your friends and your partner don't need to compete for your time or attention; you have plenty of love to give them both. But if you find yourself leaning on your friends and family more, it may be helpful to consider why you don't want to share your excitement with your partner. Additionally, if your partner is wondering why you're not being as open with them, it can be kind to let them in on what you're feeling. No one wants to be left in the dark. Breaking up with someone can feel super intimidating, but if you know it's the right thing to do, it can be kinder to do it sooner than later.
From sending shorter texts to texting friends and family instead of your partner — there are lots of signals that you want to breakup with your partner that go beyond your literal message. Breakups are hard! But it's always OK to do what's right for you in a relationship. If you're feeling like you need some space, try talking to your partner about where your head is at. Although texting can be a quick way to get your message across, sometimes, the hard convos are better had IRL.
