Saying Chrishell Stause has had kind of a rough year is like saying Selling Sunset is just a touch dramatic. In November 2019, Stause's husband of two years, This Is Us star Justin Hartley, filed for divorce, shocking fans and, apparently, Stause herself. The soap star-turned-reality star then had to relive that trauma all over again when Season 3 of Selling Sunset aired in August 2020 — but luckily, she seems to have taken it all in stride. Chrishell Stause's quotes about love, dating, and heartbreak are incredibly wise, and IMO, they provide a lot of insight into what has been a very confusing breakup.
ICYMI, Hartley filed for divorce from Stause on Nov. 22, 2019, citing "irreconcilable differences," according the Los Angeles Superior Court online docket. He also listed their date of separation as July 8, 2019, though — according to Stause — she was totally "blindsided" by Hartley's decision. Ever since they started dating in October 2013, the marriage between the two actors had seemed like a fairytale, which is what made the sudden split even stranger. While fans may never know exactly what went down, Stause's quotes about the joys and struggles of relationships are always 100% honest.
Stause believes there's nothing wrong with celebrating your happiness. While discussing her marriage during a May 2019 interview with Soap Opera Digest, Stause said, "I always feel like I get it if people roll their eyes and they're like, 'Oh, God!' It is what it is. I don't know what to say. I'm just so happy."
Relationships aren't always smooth sailing, which is why Stause believes in making her relationships a priority. "You know, sometimes it is easy and sometimes it's not," Stause told Who Australia in May 2019 when asked about how she balanced her love life and work life. Later, she added, "It's not always ideal, but it's a priority, so we always make sure that that's the most important thing."
For Stause, it's essential to make an effort, no matter how long you've been with someone. When asked by Haute Living in July 2019 how she kept the romance in her relationship alive, Stause said, "Don't ever get too busy to listen and connect because if you let yourself get stuck in that cycle, what are you actually working for anyway? Oh, and lingerie!"
According to Stause, marriage isn't about complacency — it's about commitment. "When I think of marriage, I think you work on things with people," Stause said during a testimonial in Episode 6 of Selling Sunset Season 3. "They're not perfect, no one is. You work on it. You talk about it. You don't go out looking for greener grass. Sometimes you have to water the grass that you have, and that's what marriage is."
Being a romantic isn't a bad thing, but it can definitely set you up for heartbreak. As Stause explained during a confessional in Episode 6, "I don't think anyone gets married thinking that they'll ever get a divorce. I'm definitely a hopeless romantic, and I feel stupid even saying that out loud."
Fighting isn't an indication of a failing relationship. It's when only one person is fighting that things tend to fall apart. "At the end of the day, there can't be one person fighting for a relationship," Stause told her coworker Amanza Smith during Episode 6. "You have to have two people."
Relationships may involve sacrifice, but that sacrifice shouldn't be one-sided. During her conversation with Smith, Stause talked about the things she gave up in order to keep her relationship alive. "I know it is lame and cliché to say 'everything happens for a reason,' but it does make me think of things that I've bended on for him," she said. "I had a plan, but then I met him. And I loved him so much that I changed my plan for him. So, it just makes me think then, maybe there is a bigger plan for me."
One of the biggest mistakes Stause made in her relationship: forgetting to fight for her own needs. As Stause explained to her older sister Shonda in Episode 7, "You work so hard to make choices to prop someone up and support their life and what they want, and now all of a sudden I'm like, wait a minute. What do I want?"
Things didn't work out for Stause as she'd hoped, but that doesn't mean she's lost her chance at love. During an Episode 7 confessional, Stause spoke about her sister's longterm marriage, saying, "They have been married so long and they have this beautiful family. I just think it's really hard to be around because that's what I wanted and that's what I am realizing I don't have, but it helps me be inspired to know that it might be out there. It just may take a different path than what I was thinking."
If anyone knows how to dust themselves off and try again, it's Stause. As she said during a confessional at the end of Episode 7, "This is not something that I ever wanted for myself, but I have been through a lot in my life, so I know that I have the strength inside of me. I know I will get through this."
While chatting with Entertainment Tonight in September 2020, Stause expressed excitement about her fresh start and new opportunities as a single lady. "It just feels like it's just an important time to say yes to things, because you don't know how short life is. You don't know how long you're going to be here," she said. "You're not promised anything, so if this year has taught me anything, it's just — even if it scares you, just say yes, dress up, show up, get out there."
I stan a resilient queen. You've got this, Chrishell.
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