10. Hangover Heaven: a mobile hangover service in a bus with anti-inflammatory medications that have been proven to cure hangover effects, vitamin supplementation and snacks.
9. Ashes to Portraits: turns the ashes from your dead loved one in a portrait.
8. Jacqueline Samuel: the woman who charges $60 an hour for spooning.
7. Rent-a-Grandma: company that offers grandmas to rent for children and in-home care.
6. Crime Scene Cleaners Inc: will clean the mess of any homicide, suicide or accidental death since the police don't.
5. Last Meals Delivery Service: delivers a surprise meal chosen by a death row inmate.
4. Lastmessagesclub.co.uk: stores good-bye messages to be sent to all of your contacts when you die.
3. Line Standing Service: provides people to stand in line for you in any part of the Washington DC area.
2. Professional Bird Shit Removal: removes the shit from your car or house.
1. Lubbock Fantasy Maid Service: $100 an hour for service to have your house cleaned by naked maids.
ON Elite TV
Do not watch this video if you want closure. It cuts out just before you see whether or not this dog is able to fit the shark into an impossibly small space, and it is not a good feeling. It basically ruined my weekend and it isn’t even Friday yet. But that’s not my only [...]
Graphic designer Fernando Sosa’s newest piece is a 3D printed anal plug, sculpted in shocking detail to resemble Vladimir Putin. I’ll spare you the barrage of awful puns that just flashed through my brain. If you have $23.27 to spare and know someone who might enjoy it, I think this would make an excellent stocking [...]
This handy dad might be the walking definition of a swag champ. His two sons have the single greatest toy of all time, and it is one of a kind. I would use this as my primary mode of transportation if I could, and these kids get to use it as an ATV. Lucky. Wonder [...]
Beverly Rolston, aged 45, circulated a series of lewd photographs of her husband and his mistress in compromising positions throughout the Walmart where the mistress worked. The two women are former friends, however the affair allegedly began over a year ago. Rolston wrote “Hide your husbands” on the photos, before flooding the Walmart with them. [...]
Amy Poehler is easily one of the funniest people in America, so signing her for an ad campaign is a pretty brilliant move by Old Navy. This ad is specifically for Old Navy’s Pixie Pants, which are definitely worn well in the clip. What are the odds that this is a double advertisement for a [...]
Watch this fascinating clip of a drone demo, and prepare yourself for quite a shock. This robot is controlled remotely, hovers in mid air and is equipped with stun gun capabilities. At 80,000 volts, the bot’s taser packs some serious heat. This looks straight out of a science fiction flick, and calls to mind Orwell’s [...]
Also On Elite
Ahh, the friend zone, is there anything worse? Sure, there are worse things in life, but when it comes to social situations and emotions, being in the friend zone is one of the last places on earth you want to be. For those of you unaware of what the friend zone is (liars!), it’s pretty [...]
50 Cent is done with Shady/Aftermath/Interscope/Universal, the label that broke him. He will move on to the greener pastures of Universal Music Group’s “Independent” distributor Caroline. As he told Forbes, he did it because he is a horse: “It’s freedom to invest in your own ideas.” “If ever I had a horse that I was betting [...]
I have always maintained that skateboarders are more than a little crazy, and this video completely validates that opinion. The fact that this stunt is called the “coffin drop in” makes it sound exactly like I don’t want to do it. This guy, though, he did it. I give him serious credit for being willing to [...]
Didn’t your mother teach you not to stare? And for good reason… it could kill you. “Game of Thrones” star, Peter Dinklage, spoke to Esquire magazine about a very intense moment he had with a motorcyclist back in 2003. Dinklage was walking down Melrose Ave in LA, when a man on a motorcycle was staring [...]
America has never been this tolerant. An African-American man is president, homosexuals can legally proclaim their love and an Asian guy is dominating “Jeopardy” with an iron fist. Yet, there is one community that remains oppressed. We are ignored in the media and ridiculed in public. Our good nature is marred by confusion and ignorance. [...]
For many, best friendships are probably one of the most sacred types of relationships. There are certain characteristics that describe your relationship with your best friend that don’t hold true for just any acquaintance — in fact, they’re more in line with characteristics of a significant other. 1. A Sharing of Bullsh*t There’s an automatic [...]