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You Can Literally Make Food Porn With These Sex Position Cookie Cutters

by Eitan Levine
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Legit, this is an Etsy listing for four cookie cutters in the shapes of people f*cking.

If you ever thought cookies were great but wished there was a way for you to pop a sweet, sweet bone-a-rooni while chowing down on some snickerdoodles, this is the product you've been waiting your entire life for.

I, honestly, have nothing else to say. Etsy is full of useless crap, but this cookie-cutter set may be the coolest piece of useless crap on there.

funzHome

You want shtupping cookies? Boom. Etsy helps you make shtupping cookies.

Just know, if you want to buy funzHome's oooOOHHHHHOoooOOHHOoooo outlines, there are some pretty obvious rules you need to follow. The posting said,

- Please wash it before use. - Be careful when washing or using it... - Please keep it clean and dry after use. - Scrubber and polishing material may cause scratches. - Do not leave where children can reach.

Got it? Not that these things really needed to be said, but you need to keep this set clean, and you shouldn't leave these genital-smashing tools where children can touch them.