Man Stealing Venetian Blinds In His Hoodie Wound Up Looking Like A Dementor
Anyone who has ever tried to be an adult knows that blinds cost a crazy amount of cash.
Like, are you serious JC Penney? Not even with my Family and Friend discount?
I’m gonna stick to my “Winnie the Pooh” bedsheets I duct taped to the wall then.
Pooh Bear will make sure no creeper peepers see into my boudoir.
But, I get it. Sometimes you’re trying to impress friends, woo a love interest and make sure your parents know you actually have it together for once, so you go out and find the prices of venetian blinds.
This dude apparently found them to be a bit too pricey, so he decided to “hide” them under his hoodie instead of paying.
Now, police in Northampton, England are looking for him.
CCTV captured the man in the elevator as he tried his best at hiding the blind underneath his coat. Police are currently…
Wait a minute.
I’ve seen this guy before.
He’s a Dementor from “Harry Potter.” Look at where the head would land. I can’t be fooled.
Stealing “venetian blinds?” More like STEALING SOME SOULS.
The suspect apparently tried to hide a 7-foot-long blind from a Dunelm Mill store, despite it giving him the appearance of a… Dementor?
A headless horseman if he hid his head underneath his shirt?
The coppers say the man in question entered the store at 2 pm on Sunday and later hid the blind through one pant leg and up the back of his jacket.
He left the store without paying for the blind, and the workers there were probably like…
Some staff members followed him, and then he apparently dropped the blind and escaped.
If you’re going to commit, then you better commit, my friend.
The police sent out the following statement:
Officers would like to speak with the man pictured or anyone with information can contact Northamptonshire Police on 101. Alternatively, they can call the independent charity Crimestoppers anonymously on 0800 555 111.
You’re in danger, lad.
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