It’s no secret that “pro” wrestling is fake and used strictly for entertainment purposes. We can live with that. But if there’s one thing that should resemble some kind of authenticity and realism, it’s the almighty finishers!
Moves like the choke slam or the tombstone pile driver are not only badass, but are sure to inflict some sort of pain. But then there are the moves that while still pretty badass, are far from being painful. We want to see real drama!
Most of us may have grown out of our WWE phase by now, but there’s no denying that it’s still an art that we can all respect. These entertainers are just as gifted as any athletes in the world and they have the moves to prove it — plus all the steroids probably help, too.
If you need any reminder of just how awesome/terrible WWE is, then check out the finishing moves that don’t even hurt below.
Scotty Too Hotty — The Worm
There is absolutely nothing intimidating, tough or menacing about “the worm.” Not only does this move give the opponent ample time to get back up, but you just look like a complete douche even after winning the match. Sorry, Scotty.
X-Pac — The Bronco Buster
Nothing like taking some nuts to the face. But when you’re trying to protect your balls more than inflict pain on your opponent, you aren’t exactly going to let off too much damage.
Santino Marella — The Cobra
This has to be one of corniest moves in wrestling. And for that, The Miz made Marella pay by countering him immediately. Cut that sh*t out.
Chris Jericho — The Walls Of Jericho
This is supposed to hurt?
The Big Show — The WMD Punch
Arguably the poorest execution of any wrestling move… ever. WMD must stand for Fake Ass Punch in another language.
Great Khali — The Brain Chop
If you get knocked out from this then clearly your head is hollow and you deserve to die. Natural selection.
MVP — The Playmaker
Is this the best MVP could come up with? For such a cool wrestler, he sure doesn’t have too much creativity.
Rey Mysterio — The 619
Sure it’s a classic, but I don’t think anyone’s ever pointed out the fact that Rey’s also 4’11”. Any move from him is like a fly landing on you. Purely annoying.
Mick Foley — The Mandible
We get the point, Mick Foley goes in for the mandible with his dirty sock. Cool. But this is just nasty if anything. There’s no way you’re reaching all the way down his throat — pause.
Ric Flair — The Figure Four Leg Lock
A classic old man’s move. With limited physical ability, this is all Ric Flair can do these days…
The Rock — The People’s Elbow
I know, I know. This is the most electrifying move in all of sports. The Rock is the man, the legend, but come on. The People’s Elbow ain’t sh*t. The precursor is exciting though, but then it all ends with a weak ass “elbow” if you can even call it that.
Stone Cold — The Stone Cold Stunner
Hands down the most badass finisher in WWE history. However, I feel like it might do more damage to Stone Cold than the guy he’s doing it to. That has to kill your ass.
Bonus: Rikishi’s Rim Job
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