The 7 Worst Women To Watch Football With

The 7 Worst Women To Watch Football With
Sports
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

Most girls are not fun to watch football with. One way or another, they will make their presence known with their verbal reactions to the plays that will make you feel like this is just another way they can force all the attention in the room onto them.

We get that you are probably watching with us to be a part of an activity we truly view as special, but that doesn’t mean you have the right to turn the part of the week we look forward to the most into a stressful endeavor.

Whether they know what they are talking about or not, girls simply get in the way when it comes to watching football because we find ourselves worrying about what they will do or say next rather then the game itself. Virtually all of their comments and questions will just give off the overall message “I’m a girl, this is why this is weird for me.”

Here is a list compiling the different types of girls that all pose their own threats in terms of sucking the fun out of a football game to the point where it seems like they are only there to piss you off.

The bitch

The girl who couldn’t give a shit. She’s usually one of your friends’ girlfriends, who your friend for some reason always thinks it’s necessary to bring along. She sits on her phone the entire time or tries to make conversation during the most important moments of the game.

 

Occasionally, she even threatens to change the channel, or asks to use your laptop to go on Facebook when you are clearly using it to check your fantasy match-up. This girl has no business being over for Sunday football and makes you consider why you’re even friends with your friend in the first place.

The faker

The girl who pretends she knows what she’s talking about. This girl usually has a brother or ex boyfriend who was a fan of your local team, so therefore she pretends to be really interested in the outcome of the game. She only knows the name of the quarterback and the top player and finds it necessary to keep saying their names, even when they’re not on the field.

This girl tries to be cool and act like one of the guys but it’s pretty unanimous by the end of the first quarter that everyone wants to kill her because she represents all that could go wrong with the average football fan.

The questioner

The girl who asks too many questions. It’s cute to explain the rules of sports to your girlfriend, but it’s annoying when she literally doesn’t know anything. Questions from “how do they keep moving those lines”, to “how come they keep throwing garbage on the field” can drive any football fan insane, regardless of how hot the girl is. Having your girlfriend show interest is appreciated, but being interrogated every five minutes is no way to enjoy the game.

 

The softy

The girl who is too sensitive. This is the kind of girl who gets squeamish every time there’s a big hit. She acts as if she’s watching ‘The Haunting’ instead of a football game. She worries about every player that gets hit and occasionally roots for the other team because she “feels bad that no one is cheering for them.” This girl should spend her Sundays at a petting Zoo or a child orphanage, not watching the game with you.

The agitator

The girl who enjoys getting under your skin. She’s a competitive girl by nature who takes advantage of every opportunity available to get you riled up. This is the kind of girl who cheers for the other team, just to piss you off. She’s loud and obnoxious, and though she thinks she is being cute by bickering with you, that time she rubbed that interception in your face you actually wanted to punch her in her face.

Your mom

The woman who literally gave birth to you. The Thanksgiving football games are always tough to sit through because you have to watch them with your entire family. Your Mom knows how passionate you are about your football and because she loves you she becomes passionate, too.

She cheers in the corniest way possible, embarrassing the shit out of you and complaining when there is a bad call just to add salt to injury. She thinks she is being a “cool Mom” by high-five-ing you every time something good happens, when all you want her to do is shut the heck up and go check on the turkey.

 

The all-knowing

The girl who actually knows more than you. Now men, I know this is a rare one, but you can’t exclude those couple of girls who grew up as the youngest in an all male household and was practically brought up on Sunday football. She is so intense about her team that it actually scares you because you’ve never seen a girl so angry that you haven’t cheated on.

She can answer every one of your demeaning sports trivia questions, and can even chug a beer faster than you. This girl is cool to have around initially, but ultimately becomes intimidating and makes you uncomfortable. You’re a girl. You’re not supposed to challenge me on a football question and actually be right.

I’m not saying that you can’t have a good time watching a football game with a girl. Hey lets face it, all girls look sexy in a football jersey (unless they actually look like Nick Mangold). I’m just saying it’s very hard to enjoy watching a game with any of these girls. Point being, when you watch the game all of your focus and concern should be on the field, not on how the girl next to you is going to react.

Your comments will freak us out and probably make us look at you in a strange light for the following days to come. No offense ladies, but we prefer not to be disoriented when enjoying our most treasured past time.

@TylerGildin | Elite.

Photo Credit: Getty Images

Share Tweet
React
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

Tyler Gildin

Tyler Gildin is an NYC-based Stand Up Comedian and the Creative Director at Elite Daily. He is a Television Radio Film graduate from Syracuse University and performs at clubs and colleges all over the country. He’s been written up and interviewed in publications including Newsday, CBS New York, AOL Patch and SiriusXM Mad Dog Radio. He once forgot to wear his underwear to school in 4th grade, and his mom came and brought them for him in a manila envelope. His teacher opened it in front of the class.

More In Sports

Sports John Flynn

It’s Over: Steve Nash’s Career Ends Without A Championship

Steve Nash is done. As a result of ongoing back issues, Nash will have to miss the 2014-2015 season. For this 40-year-old, a missed season due to injury likely means the end of his illustrious career. A depressing hypothetical has become an unthinkable reality. One of the most exciting, whimsical and creative players of our […]

Sports Joseph Milord

10 Reasons Why You’d Be Crazy To Miss El Clasico This Weekend

It’s here. What is by far the most anticipated date on the (European) footballing calendar is upon us and it, once again, pits Real Madrid against Barcelona in El Clasico. Anytime the two Spanish giants meet, there’s cause for major hype. Saturday’s matchup between the pair of famous clubs, though, carries a particularly higher amount […]

Sports Julian Sonny

Porn Star Lisa Ann Is Without A Doubt Banging A Notre Dame Freshman

Yesterday, we reported legendary 42-year-old porn actress Lisa Ann was dating Justin Brent, a freshman Notre Dame receiver. The two were spotted at a Knicks preseason game where TMZ reported they were busy getting cozy all night. Further reports also suggest she’s the one who bagged him. Just two days later, we can all but confirm he’s […]

Sports Joseph Milord

This Soccer Player Just Scored One Of The Best Goals Of All Time (Video)

You’ve literally never seen anything like it. With one moment of insane brilliance, Tottenham winger Erik Lamela turned a seemingly uninteresting Europa League match into the most talked about event on Twitter yesterday. During the game against Asteras Tripoli, Lamela applied the Rabona skill (looping one’s stronger foot around the weaker to strike a ball in […]

Sports Julian Sonny

One Direction Proves They’re Bigger NFL Bandwagon Fans Than Drake

Take some notes, Drake. There’s a new group of younger, faster, stronger bandwagon fans poised to take America by storm. One Direction just announced their 2015 tour, which stretches over 15 NFL stadiums, and the band took these unique promo shots to get US fans excited. .@onedirection fans the wait is FINALLY over, Aug 2nd […]

Also On Elite

World

A German Biker Gang Is Now Joining The Fight Against ISIS In Syria

Kurdish fighters battling the Islamic State in the Syrian city of Kobane have been joined by another motorcycle gang, this one coming from Germany. According to the Daily Mail, the Median Empire Motorcycle Club has been posting photos to its Facebook page of some of its members carrying rifles in the war-torn city. The Cologne-based […]

World

A Man Was Charged With Felony For Allegedly Making A Joke About Ebola

A Cleveland man has been charged with a felony after allegedly joking to a casino dealer that his ex-wife had Ebola. According to Cleveland.com, 60-year-old Emmanuel Smith told a card dealer at Horseshoe Casino last Wednesday that he was at the casino to avoid his ex-wife, who had recently come back from West Africa. He […]

Humor

This Adorable Cat Has A Permanent Surprised Face, And It’s Hilarious (Photos)

There is no shortage of funny-looking felines on the Internet. It’s kind of a global obsession to see who can spot the weirdest looking cat (Bub, I’m looking at you). Meet Internet newcomer, Banye. Thanks to a dark patch of fur directly under its chin, this kitty constantly looks surprised. The 11-year-old British shorthair from China […]

World

NY Prison Superintendent Can’t Believe How Nice Norwegian Prisons Are (Video)

James Conway is the retired superintendent of the Attica Correctional Facility in New York. He believes that inmates have sacrificed any sort of comfortable living by committing their crimes, and their privacy and contentment should not at all be a concern of staff members. Norway’s Halden prison does things a bit differently, and seems to […]

Life

3 Life Mantras That Will Help You Dodge Disappointment In Your 20s

They say the best way to learn is simply by making mistakes. If that’s the case, I’m life’s valedictorian. The past few years haven’t been easy. In fact, the years between 20 and 25 have felt somewhat akin to stumbling through a pitch-black cave, basically blind, barefoot and with no flashlight. Fortunately, my eyes gradually adjusted to […]