How Tim Tebow And G-D Are Responsible For The Downfall Of Aaron Hernandez
Aaron Hernandez is one of my favorite players in the league — and as I’m saying that as a Giants and Jets fan, I should probably make sure no one tries to kill me (no pun intended, nor is there any relation to the current scandal). He’s one of my favorite players for a few reasons: the first being the guy is a beast and the ideal tight end in the league. At 6’1” and 245 pounds, he’s built like a true animal and this man has the skill set and the potential to be one of the best tight ends in the game. It seemed like he could even to go down the same path as Tony Gonzalez, whose 17-year career was rife with nothing short of broken records.
From killing it in his junior year in college as a Gator and being drafted by the Pats, to having three solid seasons already with a combined 18 touchdowns and 175 receptions, the guy is a legend. Let’s not forget he also has one of the best quarterbacks to ever play the game throw to his giant target. He also plays alongside Rob Gronkowski, who is a freak of nature himself. But that’s not why I love Aaron Hernandez, our bromance came during this year’s fantasy season.
If you play fantasy football, then you know how competitive this thing gets with a bunch of guys at the office all in the same league. Gronk was having an amazing year and getting most of the receptions on the tight end spot, whereas Hernandez was battling some injuries and wasn’t really 100% healthy through 75% of the season, which led to one team in our league dropping him due to poor performance. It just so happens the day he dropped him, Rob Gronkowski broke his forearm and I rushed to pick him up. For the last few weeks of the season, Hernandez was getting me the points I was missing at the tight end position and rubbing it into the guy’s face who stupidly dropped him, made it that much sweeter.
This is when I became a true fan of Hernandez because I was able to see his full potential when he was the first option at the position. With his stellar performance, I even planned to draft him early next year and the Pats seemed to agree with me as at the end of the season, they gave him a 40 million dollar contract for the next 4 years. Not bad for a 23 year old that hasn’t even seen his prime yet, that was up until now…
If you know anything about the Pats, you know they are not like the Jets and have a very strict policy. They don’t do circuses, they don’t do scandals and if you are stupid enough to f*ck up while you are on the Pats, you basically turn into an orphan with no helping hand. The Pats are no strangers to cutting players, even players that you thought they would never cut. They stick to their guns and hold the authority in the locker room, and as a respected organization, they even deleted all of Aaron Hernandez’s stats from their site after he was arrested.
Everything was going great for this young man, he had the world and a great future at his fingertips, so what could have possibly went wrong? His name is Tim Tebow and the irony gets better — they were teammates in Florida. Unless you have been living under a rock the past few years, you should know that Tim Tebow is not a human, but rather a superior being amongst our society. The guy broke records at Florida and won two national championships; he’s still a virgin, but hangs out with the hottest girls. He was going to be aborted, but his parents decided otherwise and he was even born in Philippines, which could really just be a cover up for him actually falling out of the sky and being a God amongst men.
If you look at the teams Tim Tebow has been on in the past, there have been a lot of miraculous things happening to the organizations in order to ensure that Tebow ends up playing. Let’s go back to his Broncos days when he was drafted with the 25th pick, yet the team didn’t even want him to play, as John Elway constantly called out his inability to play quarterback in the league. That caused the Broncos to start Kyle Orton and go against popular belief that Tebow was starting. Unfortunately, Kyle Orton was just on the wrong end of the stick. After 7 games and going 2-5, losing miserably to teams they shouldn’t have lost to, Elway had no choice but to give in and give the fans what they wanted to see: Tim Tebow. At this point, many had already ruled the Broncos out, calling it a lost season, saying that they were going to rebuild after this. What happened afterwards was Tebowmania.
Sure he might have lacked the skillset that Elway was looking for, but the guy was a winner, which was proven on the football field. I will never forget watching the game against the Bears; the Broncos had their playoffs hopes on the line, down by just one point with just under two minutes to go — but the Bears had the ball. Of course with the power of God behind Tebow, Marion Barber fumbled the ball on a carry just to kill some clock. But the Broncos still had to make a play to get them into field goal range.
Tebow managed to pull of an incredible pass to Brandon Lloyd after which he was able to run out of bounds and stop the clock. McGahee ran it up the middle for another few yards. This set up Matt Prater with a 61-yard field goal to win it and to take the Broncos to overtime. Kickers don’t make 61-yard field goals, especially on the Solider Field Astroturf, but of course with Tebow ‘tebowing’ and praying on the sideline, the kick just made it as it swung left.
Tebowmania was suddenly a craze, taking the nation by storm, yet Elway was still not a believer and was very worried about facing the Steelers in the playoffs, a Steelers team that has been good for years and years. He even threatened not to start Tebow just because he was so nervous about how terrible he would do about that impeccable defense. But, of course, once again Tebow prevailed and put all the critics to shame by throwing an 80-yard pass to Demaryius Thomas to win the game in thrilling fashion — in overtime. Beating the Steelers in the playoffs is something that many of the great quarterbacks of our age couldn’t even do, let alone in the first round. The Broncos went on to face the Patriots after which they got massacred by forty points and here is where this story gets interesting.
While writing this, I have come to notice one thing: Tebow is a blessing and a curse, just like every immortal character. He is a curse to anyone standing in his way, but a blessing when he is out there performing. Case in point: the Jets, aka the circus of the NFL. The Broncos did Tebow dirty by trading him and getting Peyton Manning, sure Manning is a better QB, but how many years does he really have? As the Broncos were making a promising run this past year and were the Super bowl favorites, I recall the playoff game they lost to the Ravens. Were the Ravens a better team? Absolutely not. But did G-D make sure he found a way not to give the Broncos the joy of going far in the playoffs just because they have Manning? Yes, which is why he made sure Manning and Tebow had exactly the same playoff wins in Denver: 1. Take that Elway.
Now we have the issue with the circus team: the Jets. Let’s also not forget that when the Jaguars decided not to take Tebow from the Broncos, they finished with the worst record in the league — well played. Now back to the Jets, the Jets are idiots, in fact, they may just be the dumbest franchise in NFL history. Why in the world would you take Tebow when you already had so many quarterbacks? You should be trying to keep Mark Sanchez focused and not distracted on losing his job to Tebow. They brought Tebow in for no reason, Rex had no plan, he just wanted the attention that came with having Tebowmania, just as much as he loves the attention he already gets.
Of course this was going to be a failure, as the locker room had already spoken out about Sanchez and the pressure was even higher for him. What happened? The Jets got plagued and were punished. Their best cornerback, Revis, was out with ACL in the first few weeks.
Their best receiver, Santonio Holmes, was out with ACL on a very similar play as Darrelle Revis. The defense was horrendous and Mark Sanchez had the worst season of his career. Tebow had no place on that team and no role, you could just see it eating him up inside as he became the laughing stock of the NFL. Mark Sanchez even committed the butt fumble. It really couldn’t have gotten that much worse for the Jets and that was because they were cursed by Tebow. They finally let him go, but who knows how long this curse will last for them.
Now fast forward and you have the Patriots picking him up. Another head scratcher here, as what the f*ck is Tebow going to do on the Pats? He’s not going to play quarterback, they already have a decent guy named Tom Brady doing that. He won’t play fullback because he’s not big enough. So what other position was really only left for him? The tight end position, but wait the Pats already have (had) the two best tight ends in the game, the Gronk and Hernandez, so why would they need a third tight end? And this is where you have Tebow’s superior powers of being the son of God, allowing for the perfect opportunity for him to resurrect his career as a tight end, now that Hernandez will probably never see the light of day again.
If you just look at the legacy of Tim Tebow, things just happen to go his way, and if in any case they are not going his way, they end up finding a way to go his way. He was almost aborted, but was born in Philippines. When he got to Florida, he didn’t start as a freshman, but of course Chris Leak was a senior and was out of there in one year, leaving room for Tebow to be a star. Hernandez is the biggest victim and casualty that has been taken down by Tebow and the power that is above him.
Call me crazy, but I wouldn’t think it’d be the weirdest thing in the world if Tebow becomes one of the best tight ends in the game now that he has Tom Brady looking his way every time. The moral of this story is, trust in Tebow and you will have G-d behind you as well; don’t trust in Tebow and feel the wrath, just ask Hernandez as he is preparing for the filming of “The Longest Yard 2.”
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