It’s no secret that the Washington Wizards are bad. They enter play on Friday with the worst record in the NBA at 2-13. Furthermore, they have produced a winning record in just four seasons since 1997.
And perhaps the worst part of it all is the fact that the future doesn’t look very good either.
This drove one Wizards fan in particular to offer to pay someone $10 to take take their tickets for this Saturday’s home bout against the Golden State Warriors. The frustrated fan posted the listing Wednesday morning on Craigslist.
Here’s a snippet of what that post entails:
“I’m sick of the losing. I’m sick of watching bad basketball. I’m sick of the attitude of the management. I’m sick of the Washington Wizards.”
The fan goes on to explain:
“My Wizards tickets are making my house feel like the one in Paranormal Activity. So how do I get rid of these pesky Wizareds tickets that make my bones shiver every time I walk past them? I must get rid of them before it is too late…These Wizards tickets are…PURE EVIL!
In order to determine a proper strategy in giving away my tickets, I decided to use a few economic skills I learned while spending a billion dollars on graduate school. Costs incurred when going to a Wizards game include stress from commuting to DC, transportation costs, food & drink costs, ticket cost, opportunity cost of your valuable time, and the irreparable brain depreciation you get by watching Jan Vesely airball foul shots. Those costs are offset by the entertainment value gained from attending a game, more specifically the humor you experience by watching other Wizards fans yell funny negative things from the crowd after Jan Vesely airball foul shots.”
There are a few catches in this deal. The recipient must take a picture that shows the scoreboard at some point in the first quarter and then another of the final score.
The recipient must also wear some sort of Wizards gear to prove that they aren’t a Warriors fan. A hat or a shirt will suffice.
And finally, the fan paying to give these tickets away requires that the recipient write a paragraph or two about their experience.
Sound like a deal? Personally, I’m not sure if free tickets and an extra 10 bucks are enough to entice me to sit through a Wizards game. How about you?
Duncan Steel | Elite.