• Connor Toole in Humor

    No One’s More Sorry Than This Grandma Who Accidentally Ate The Last Doughnut

    No One’s More Sorry Than This Grandma Who Accidentally Ate The Last Doughnut

    Anyone who’s lived with roommates with poor impulse control knows how frustrating it can be to go to eat a treat you set aside for yourself, only to be met with a pile of crumbs and the sense of existential sadness that comes along with having your food taken away from you. Most people eventually […]
  • Connor Toole in Humor

    You Probably Didn’t Realize This Scene In ‘Hey Arnold!’ Was Extremely NSFW

    You Probably Didn’t Realize This Scene In ‘Hey Arnold!’ Was Extremely NSFW

    Last summer, I woke up after a particularly long night of poor decisions and soon discovered one of those decisions was to go on Amazon at 1 am and order a box set containing every single episode of “Hey Arnold!” to ever air on Nickelodeon. I debated returning the package when it arrived a couple of […]
  • Connor Toole on Elite Daily Video

    What If A Restaurant Made Food For You ONLY To Instagram, Not Eat?

    What If A Restaurant Made Food For You ONLY To Instagram, Not Eat?

    Over the past few years, the culinary world gave birth to creations — like rainbow bagels and over-the-top milkshakes — that seem like they’re specifically designed to garner as many likes as possible on Instagram. I recently had the opportunity to sample one of these trendy dishes myself when I dropped $8 on a Raindrop Cake. To […]
  • Connor Toole in Humor

    You Can Now Enroll Your Baby In DJ School To Become The Next Calvin Harris

    You Can Now Enroll Your Baby In DJ School To Become The Next Calvin Harris

    In the early 2000s, the geniuses behind Baby Einstein convinced an entire generation of parents their babies could be geniuses, as long as they decided to distract their children with a trademarked series of videos featuring puppets and bright colors set to the score of Mozart. People eventually figured out making kids listen to classical […]
  • Connor Toole in Humor

    A Bunch Of Dildos Cause Absolute Chaos After Getting Loose In A Busy Street

    A Bunch Of Dildos Cause Absolute Chaos After Getting Loose In A Busy Street

    Russia has traditionally been one of the world’s top exporters of videos featuring insane things happening on public roadways, which is partially due to virtually every driver installing a dashcam to document the accidents and incidents of insurance fraud that occur on a shockingly regular basis. After all, you never know when a tank is […]
  • Connor Toole in Humor

    Genius Company Creates An Epic Adult-Sized Stroller For Parents To Test Ride

    Genius Company Creates An Epic Adult-Sized Stroller For Parents To Test Ride

    If you’ve reached the point in life where your Facebook feed has become a steady stream of pictures of babies you can’t tell apart, you’ve likely seen plenty of proof of just how far some new parents are willing to go to make sure they’re doing everything they can for their children. There’s obviously nothing […]
  • Connor Toole in Humor

    Yep, You Can Actually Buy Lipstick That Looks Exactly Like A D*ck

    Yep, You Can Actually Buy Lipstick That Looks Exactly Like A D*ck

    There’s always been a surprisingly sizeable market for products resembling penises, ranging from the ever-popular drinking straws that are staples at bachelorette parties to the bags of edible phalli you can send to anyone you want to literally eat a bag of d*cks. I’m not sure how it took this long, but a new product has […]
  • Connor Toole in Humor

    9 Pictures That Prove Dads Should Never Be Allowed On Social Media

    9 Pictures That Prove Dads Should Never Be Allowed On Social Media

    There seems to be a fundamental change in the way your brain functions when you become a dad: Cargo shorts are suddenly viewed as fashionable, puns are viewed as the purest form of humor and the music of Steely Dan becomes virtually irresistible. I don’t know if there have been any studies conducted to examine […]
  • Connor Toole in Humor

    This Is What ‘Oregon Trail’ Would Look Like If It Existed Today

    This Is What ‘Oregon Trail’ Would Look Like If It Existed Today

    I went through a dark period early on in life when I was only allowed to play “educational” video games, so “Oregon Trail” holds a special spot in my heart for combining the elements of an RPG with a lesson in history (a lesson that essentially amounted to “everyone dies in horrible ways”). For those […]
  • Connor Toole on Tie The Knot

    This Guy Used A Sloth To Surprise His Girlfriend With An Adorable Proposal

    This Guy Used A Sloth To Surprise His Girlfriend With An Adorable Proposal

    You (at least, theoretically) only get to propose to someone once, so it’s important to come up with a plan that makes the person you’re asking so emotionally overwhelmed, the only thing he or she can do is instinctively say “yes.” One of the ways to do this is to incorporate something your partner is […]
  • Connor Toole in Humor

    These Are The Biggest Warning Signs Your Neighborhood Is Gentrified

    These Are The Biggest Warning Signs Your Neighborhood Is Gentrified

    In 1964, Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart fell short in his attempt to define hardcore pornography with an opinion that reduced his litmus test for obscenity to one simple phrase: “I know it when I see it.” Many people have attempted to apply a concrete definition to gentrification, but I’ve used the same expression to […]
  • Connor Toole in Humor

    This Video Is Literally All Of Us When Our Colleges Ask For Donations

    This Video Is Literally All Of Us When Our Colleges Ask For Donations

    You’re alone in your apartment when your phone rings unexpectedly, punctuating the silence and jolting you out of your Netflix-induced stupor for the first time in hours. You look down to see who’s responsible for interrupting the tranquility only to discover it’s an unknown number, but you can’t help shake the feeling you’ve seen it […]