• Zara Barrie in Dating

    The Identity Crisis Of Being A Lesbian Who Hates Sports

    The Identity Crisis Of Being A Lesbian Who Hates Sports

    I'll never, ever forget my first big-time lesbian crush. I was a lowly sixth grader and the object of my obsession, Cleo*, was a wildly popular eighth grader. I spent my days admiring her from afar, but cool Cleo was in no way aware of my meaningless middle school existence. Understandably, of course. I was […]
  • Zara Barrie on Tie The Knot

    30 Fears I Have About Marriage Now That I'm 30

    30 Fears I Have About Marriage Now That I'm 30

    “When I get married, I'm going to have the most glam wedding EVER!” I used to croon to my best friend Ruba when we were in our early 20s. “When I get married, I'm not going to wear white. I'm going to wear black, and my nuptials will take place in Italy,” Ruba would chirp back. “I […]
  • Zara Barrie on Queer Culture

    5 Bizarre Misconceptions Femme Lesbians Deal With In The Dating World

    5 Bizarre Misconceptions Femme Lesbians Deal With In The Dating World

    Lesbians are often divided into two (very dated and overly-simplistic) categories: “femme” and “butch.” Since the moment I came bounding out that dark, repressive closet, the jury quickly charged me with being a “femme.” “Oh my God, you're such a FEMME!” seasoned lesbians would roar at me as I nervously sat in the corner of […]
  • Zara Barrie on Let's Talk About Sex

    This Is Your Naughtiest Sexual Fetish, Based On Your Personality Type

    This Is Your Naughtiest Sexual Fetish, Based On Your Personality Type

    For the longest time, I couldn't figure out why I liked to be so fiercely dominated in the bedroom. I mean, I'm a very assertive woman! I get off on being in control of my own life. I'm my own boss, and I've been described as ambitious from the time I was a greasy-faced, twerpy adolescent. […]
  • Zara Barrie on Beauty Bag

    10 Ways To Turn Your Pale Winter Complexion Into A Summer Glow Without Tanning

    10 Ways To Turn Your Pale Winter Complexion Into A Summer Glow Without Tanning

    I don't know how it happened, and I don't know when it happened, but spring has sprung, darlings. I went on a plane to Florida two weeks ago, and I clearly remember furiously dragging my suitcase through the icy streets of Manhattan as I shivered, waiting for a taxi to take me to the airport. […]
  • Zara Barrie on Mental Health

    30 Toxic Relationships You Need To Cut Out Of Your Life By 30

    30 Toxic Relationships You Need To Cut Out Of Your Life By 30

    I used to secretly pride myself in how dynamic and multifaceted my eclectic group of “friends” was. I was that girl who let anyone and everyone into her orbit. I rubbed elbows with teenage junkies, called emotionally abusive, misogynistic boy creatures my “friends” and had a slew of melodramatic, narcissistic people in my life who […]
  • Zara Barrie on Mental Health

    5 Ways To Escape Your Anxiety-Ridden Mind Without Self-Medicating

    5 Ways To Escape Your Anxiety-Ridden Mind Without Self-Medicating

    I used to be so intensely anxious all of the time that I would pop benzodiazepines into my mouth like they were breath mints. “Benzodiazepines” are in the Xanax, Klonopin and Valium family of psychotropic drugs. They're used to treat anxiety disorder and panic attacks. Those of us hip to pill slang refer to them as “benzos” […]
  • Zara Barrie on Mental Health

    5 Signs It's Time For You To Break Up With Your Therapist

    5 Signs It's Time For You To Break Up With Your Therapist

    After reading this headline, you're probably thinking to yourself, “Signs it's time to dump your therapist? Who does this bitch think she is?” Maybe you're a therapist yourself, or you're the protective child of a fabulous therapist. But please, before you get upset, allow me to add this disclaimer: I'm not a therapist-shamer. No one […]
  • Zara Barrie on Mental Health

    5 Signs It Might Be Time To Try Antidepressants If Nothing Else Is Working

    5 Signs It Might Be Time To Try Antidepressants If Nothing Else Is Working

    There is such a stigma in our culture surrounding antidepressants that for years, I didn't tell anyone I was taking them to treat my major depressive disorder and obsessive compulsive disorder. I can't tell you how many times I've kept my mouth shut as I've even listened to my own friends rail against antidepressants. The stigma of […]
  • Zara Barrie on Queer Culture

    We're All Great At Oral: 7 Myths About Lesbian Sex, Debunked By A Lesbian

    We're All Great At Oral: 7 Myths About Lesbian Sex, Debunked By A Lesbian

    “My boyfriend does not know how to go down on me AT ALL,”  said my friend Lola*. “He just sticks his massive face in between my legs and devours my vagina like it's a jelly goddamn donut. It's not even remotely enjoyable.” “Don't even get me started. My boyfriend won't go down on me unless he's blackout drunk,” […]
  • Zara Barrie on Beauty Bag

    9 Embarrassing, Gross Secrets Only Your Longtime Hairdresser Knows About You

    9 Embarrassing, Gross Secrets Only Your Longtime Hairdresser Knows About You

    I met my hairstylist Owen Gould at a high school party in 2003. I was wearing ripped fishnet stockings, chunky platform Mary Janes and hideous sparkly eyeshadow. Pimples were scattered across my oily forehead, and eyeliner was smeared across my face. But, I didn't care. I was 16, and the world was my oyster. “So, what do […]
  • Zara Barrie on Mental Health

    The Terrifying Moment You Realize You've Spent Your Whole Life Drunk Or Hungover

    The Terrifying Moment You Realize You've Spent Your Whole Life Drunk Or Hungover

    The first time I ever got wasted, I was a skinny adolescent living in the affluent suburbs of Connecticut. It was New Year's Eve, and we had just raided Lilly's* parents' liquor cabinet… because we were bored adolescents living in suburban Connecticut. Like, what else were we going to do on New Year's Eve? It […]