Bad News, Americans: We're 15 Pounds Heavier Than We Were 20 Years Ago

You may want to put down that last slice of cake after reading this because, apparently, Americans are getting fatter. Not skinnier -- fatter.

You may be thinking, "But how, Lillian? HOW?" Well, according to a federal report, men and women weigh 15 pounds more than they did 20 years ago.

Now, it's no secret that Americans have been on the chubbier side in our modern times, but this news is still kind of upsetting to hear. It's making me second-guess my love for Double Stuf Oreos. And that, I tell you, makes me bitter.

In the new report, researchers from the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's National Center for Health Statistics examined data from men and women in the US from 2011 through 2014.

They discovered that, while the average height of men and women hasn't changed much in the last 20 years (the average for men was 5 feet 9 inches and 5 feet 4 inches for women), the average weight has drastically increased.

So, basically, Americans are short and stout. We are teapots. This is tragic, yet not unexpected.

The average weight for men is now about 195.7 pounds, which is about 15 pounds more than the average male weighed 20 years ago. The average woman now weighs 168.5 pounds, which is 16 pounds heavier than the initial study that was conducted from 1988 to 1994. Crazy stuff, right?

Similarly, kids in America also weigh more than they did 20 years ago. Compared to 1988, 11-year-old boys weigh 13 pounds more, while 11-year-old girls weigh 7 pounds more. Yikes.

When it comes to their height, however, boys are about 1 inch taller than before, and girls are roughly the same average height.

Obesity is still a huge and growing problem in the US, but at least games like Pokémon Go have gotten Americans on their feet.

And, who knows? Maybe this one overplayed game will inspire us all to hit the gym on the reg instead of watching "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" all day.

It probably won't, though. *Sigh*

Anyway, thanks, America, for always making it a little harder for me to put my jeans on.