There Are 2 Types Of Women: Dark Chocolate And Milk Chocolate Lovers

Chocolate is a woman’s guilty pleasure; it's the one sweet treat we simply cannot resist and the one we'll always find an excuse for. It's the heavenly apex of the candy world: creamy, smooth and almost sensual.

There's just something so satisfying about curling up on the couch, ripping the crackling foil off a piece of chocolate, closing your eyes as you take a bite and sighing as it melts on your tongue.

Eating chocolate is the closest a girl can get to orgasm without the help of a vibrator. It’s a magical, beautiful experience warming her from the inside out.

There's rarely a woman who isn’t a chocolate fan. Just writing the word chocolate over and over right now is tempting me to hightail it across the street to the drugstore for a Milky Way -- did I mention it is 10:29 am?

But is there a wrong time to eat chocolate? It might be a faux-pas to eat candy in the morning, but chocolate isn't on the same level as Sour Patch Kidz or Jolly Ranchers.

It's a gift from God, in a league all its own. It's appropriate -- perfect -- for any time of day or night.

Chocolate and women are as intertwined as women and wine. For a woman, chocolate is its own food group. No matter how strict her diet, she'll always have room to sneak a little something chocolatey.

And like a woman’s preference for white or red wine, a woman will always be partial to one of the two kinds of chocolate: dark or milk.

It's safe to say there are only two kinds of women in this world: dark chocolate lovers and milk chocolate lovers.

There are women who are sensual and women who are fun-loving; women who sip on Merlot, and women who prefer to drink Chardonnay.

A woman is an individual, but you can bet she’s either for dark chocolate or milk chocolate and hardly ever swings for both.

So, with Valentine’s Day swiftly approaching, now's the time to ask yourself: Which woman are you?

Dark chocolate lovers like romance; milk chocolate lovers like flirtations.

Dark chocolate lovers want books for Valentine's Day; milk chocolate lovers want jewelry.

Dark chocolate lovers want to snuggle by a fire; milk chocolate lovers want to bask at the spa.

Dark chocolate lovers are old-world romance; milk chocolate lovers are a first kiss.

Dark chocolate lovers want to get away to the mountains; milk chocolate lovers want to go to the beach.

Dark chocolate lovers are health-conscious; milk chocolate lovers have a sweet tooth.

Dark chocolate lovers like to rationalize; milk chocolate lovers like to indulge.

Dark chocolate lovers read poetry; milk chocolate lovers read magazines.

Dark chocolate lovers prefer smooth; milk chocolate lovers like it sweet.

Dark chocolate lovers write letters; milk chocolate lovers write emails.

Dark chocolate lovers are sensual; milk chocolate lovers are a lot of laughs.

Dark chocolate lovers drink red wine; milk chocolate lovers drink white wine.

Dark chocolate lovers sport serious fringe; milk chocolate lovers rock highlights.

Dark chocolate lovers make plans; milk chocolate lovers make dates.

Dark chocolate lovers prefer the classics; milk chocolate lovers enjoy a modern flare.

Dark chocolate lovers go to Paris; milk chocolate lovers go to Venice.

Dark chocolate lovers delight in the savory; milk chocolate lovers prefer to keep it light.

Dark chocolate lovers send Valentines; milk chocolate lovers receive them.

Dark chocolate lovers can sometimes be too bitter, but milk chocolate lovers can sometimes be too sweet.

Dark chocolate lovers are European; milk chocolate lovers are domestic explorers.

Dark chocolate lovers are always extra rich; milk chocolate lovers have expensive taste.

Dark chocolate lovers are mysterious; milk chocolate lovers tend to be more "what you see is what you get."

Dark chocolate lovers are refined; milk chocolate lovers are rebellious.

Dark chocolate lovers are an acquired taste; milk chocolate lovers are for everyone.

Dark chocolate lovers are really good when you want it; milk chocolate lovers are good every time.

Dark chocolate lovers dwell in the late hours of the night; milk chocolate lovers are daytime fun.

Dark chocolate lovers love a fabulous night out on the town; milk chocolate lovers are a night on the couch.

Dark chocolate lovers are good for the brain; milk chocolate lovers require no thinking.

Dark chocolate lovers are for deep love; milk chocolate lovers are for that spark.

Dark chocolate lovers drink espresso; milk chocolate lovers drink flavored lattes.

Dark chocolate lovers are into nutrition; milk chocolate lovers are always in for a treat.

Dark chocolate lovers are a guilty pleasure; milk chocolate lovers are a vice.

Dark chocolate lovers are expensive lingerie; milk chocolate lovers are cotton underwear because you love each other regardless.

Dark chocolate lovers want French kisses; milk chocolate lovers give you a hug when you really need it.

Dark chocolate lovers are all natural; milk chocolate lovers are made with love.