22 Legitimate Reasons Why The Only Valentine You Need Is Your BFF
Valentine's Day can be a rough holiday for a single girl. There is so much pressure placed on this one day, which, for f*cksake was made up by Hallmark to sell more merchandise.
You're somehow branded with a proverbial plague if you're not celebrating this day of love, if you don't have a boyfriend to spend it with — someone to buy you jewelry and someone for you to spend an absurd amount of money on lingerie to be sexy for.
Honestly, Valentine's Day is kind of bullsh*t. Why should you feel pressured to be in a relationship just because of some stupid holiday conveniently placed in the middle of the most depressing month of the year?
A happily single girl shouldn't have to feel guilty for being single. Nor should she be made to feel inadequate for not having an SO to buy a card for.
After all, she already has the best SO on the planet: her BFF. Why can't Valentine's Day be just as special when you're spending it with your favorite person on the planet?
Isn't this day even more important when you celebrate it with your true other half? Can't this be a time to celebrate the most stable and real relationship in your life?
F*ck boyfriends and f*ck Valentine's Day. Here are 22 reasons why the only Valentine you need is your BFF.
1. You can eat the whole box of chocolate without judgment.
While you might feel guilty and gross for scarfing down the entire box of heart-shaped chocolates that's lying in front of you, your BFF is either taking half of them to the face, or mauling her own box in its entirety.
Why daintily eat your Valentine's chocolate when you can be the equivalent of The Cookie Monster with zero f*cks given?
2. You can get completely wine wasted.
Wine might make you feel “sexy” (or whatever) with your boyfriend, but when you're with your BFF, the two of you have one goal: to get completely wasted.
Nothing says true romance like two bottles of $3 Cabernet and a lot of chick flicks.
3. She's the best snuggle you've ever had anyway.
Why the hell would you want some sweaty, hairy dude all up in your business when your best friend is the snuggliest snuggler on God's good planet?
4. She'll watch “The Notebook” with you and actually enjoy it.
It's Valentine's Day and all you want to do is watch Noah and Allie fall in love in the most unrealistic, mushy manner possible.
Your boyfriend would bitch and moan at the insistence of watching this romantic clusterf*ck, but your BFF is in her in pajamas and has the tissues ready.
5. She listens to your problems and actually gives a sh*t.
She doesn't just listen to you out of obligation, she legitimately wants to hear you bitch and moan — and she'll give it to you right back. Sounds like the best night ever, amiright?
6. She actually knows what you'd want for Valentine's.
A bottle of cheap wine, some chocolate and a whole lot of gossip. Duh.
7. You actually enjoy spending time with her.
You would gladly spend all of your free time with your BFF. You feel no obligation to see her, you want to spend time with her.
You hate everyone, but you definitely don't hate her.
8. You're on the same episode of “Gilmore Girls” on Netflix.
You guys are on the same Netflix flow and, if that isn't love, I just don't know what is.
9. She'd never blow you off.
You are each other's #1 priority. She would never forget a special day she knows is important to you. Unlike a boyfriend, where “bros come before hoes” — you're her hoe and her boyfriend all in one.
10. You don't have sex.
You aren't going to bang, so there's no pressure to shave your legs or to wear uncomfortable underwear. You can just veg out in sweats and not even worry about all that popcorn grease on your face.
11. You don't have to buy lingerie.
Could there be a better reason not to have a Valentine? Who wants to spend upwards of $60 on a f*cking corset? We're young professionals, we can barely afford rent let alone La Perla.
12. You split dinner.
There's no pressure on where you eat because you are both on a budget.
You don't have to feel guilty your man took you to some overpriced joint in the heart of the city because you and your BFF hit up your favorite sushi place with the unlimited sake special.
13. You're not going to break up.
You don't have to worry about an expiration date on your relationship, you never have to worry about something going wrong — you and your BFF are in this for life.
Where a relationship might have that strange haze of a possible breakup somewhere down the line, that kind of pressure doesn't exist with your BFF.
14. There's no pressure to buy gifts.
Suddenly, Valentine's Day isn't a stressful event where you freak out over what you should buy.
This is just another night with your best friend — getting drunk and having the most amazing time together like always.
15. Everyone else annoys you.
Everyone sucks besides the two of you. That's just a fact.
16. You can eat the entire dinner and not be worried about being naked later.
You don't have to worry about being bloated. You can even order dessert and not worry about looking like Kate Upton later — I know, L-O-F*cking-L to that.
17. Valentine's Day doesn't pressure you to define your relationship.
Are you officially together now? You've only been dating six months, so do you go out? Do you cook? Where is this all going? Ain't nobody got time for that noise. Grab your bestie and forget all the drama.
18. She will see “50 Shades Of Grey” with you without complaint.
You waited in line for the tickets two months ago. You both understand the importance of seeing the NC-17 version of Jamie Dornan's beautiful sculpted body on the big screen.
And, let's face it, your boyfriend was never going to be a sex god like Christian Grey anyway.
19. You don't have to shower.
…Or have shower sex.
20. There's no forced awkward dinner conversation.
The two of you are like peas and carrots. You never run out of things to talk about, you never filter yourselves and you always laugh until you cry.
21. The two of you are not a cliché.
There's everyone else, and then there are you two.
You aren't going to be one of those gross couples holding hands and sitting on the same side of the booth, ringing in Valentine's Day in the same old way as everyone else — you're just too awesome for that.
22. She's seen you at your worst.
Instead of holding those messy, over-the-top, obnoxious times over your head, constantly making you feel guilty — she loves you more because of them.
The two of you have the best, most important kind of love, the kind that will last forever.
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