23 Signs You Need To Take A Vacation Like Right F*cking Now
“Ugh I need a vacation immediately…”
How many times have you uttered those words? And how many times has someone else spoken those words to you? Chances are, you can’t even count either of those encounters since they have probably happened far too often.
Everyone needs a vacation to remain sane. I mean there are only so many days in a row you can slave away in your office before you need an extended break.
Sure, we may have the weekends, but when you find your blood boiling 24/7, you are definitely in need of something longer than just two days off.
Unfortunately, we only get approximately two weeks of paid time off, so the pressure to plan the perfect getaway is on.
So how do you know when you’re overdue for a vacation?
1. You have pressed the snooze button on your alarm more than three times this morning
Once — fine, we all do it. Twice — you’re pushing the limit. THREE? Oh honey, you need a nice break from life because there is just no coming back from a fourth ringing of the alarm.
2. You’ve had absolutely no motivation to exercise over the past few months
There’s nothing like a vacation on the horizon to kick your ass into high gear.
It’s beyond difficult to motivate yourself when the last thing on your mind is the beach, so why not plan a vacation? Sounds like a great excuse to me.
3. Your current foundation is four shades darker than your pale winter complexion
You didn’t think it was possible to be this pale, but clearly you’ve spoken too soon.
You barely even recognize yourself when looking in a mirror aka you need to hit the nearest beach.
4. You can’t physically remember what the feeling of warmth is
The closest to warmth you’ve felt in the past four months are the 10 minutes you spent fake-and-baking in a tanning bed.
5. You haven’t posted pictures on social media in three months because nothing exciting has happened in your life.
This is quite the sign now, isn’t it? You literally have nothing going on, which is why you so desperately need to put some excitement in your life.
Your followers are getting nervous you’ve jumped off the deep end…
7. Your coworkers have literally told you that you need a vacation.
If the people you work with are encouraging your time off even though they’ll be the ones picking up your slack, well then, you know it’s time to vacay.
8. You haven’t been on a bender in a while
Sometimes you just need a really good bender to get your life in order.
Sure, this may sound like a terrible excuse for a vacation, but everyone knows the best part about vacay is drinking.
9. Your college friends haven’t been together in the same place since you graduated
An excuse to reunite with college friends is probably the best type of excuse out there. You all need to remind yourselves you aren’t that old.
10. You’ve been working the same job for the past two years and have yet to take a vacation
I’m not sure why it may have taken you this long to realize you need a vacation, but I guess it’s better than never.
11. All of your friends have significant others except you
A reason to get away from all your wifed up friends? Sign us the F up!
12. Your bikini drawer is starting to collect dust
You don’t really even remember what bathing suits you own as it’s been that long since you’ve needed to wear them.
13. Your sunglasses are sitting on your dresser solely for decoration
Sometimes you lie in bed dreaming of paradise while you rest your sunglasses on your face. Too bad they haven’t seen the light of day since you’ve been living in a dreary miserable state of mind for months.
14. The last tropical drink you had was a cheap tequila sunrise during college spring break
And you don’t even remember it…
15. You haven’t gotten a pedicure in months because really what’s the point when you’re wearing boots every damn day?
You haven’t indulged in any sort of personal hygiene that was outside the realm of a “daily” shower.
16. The last sunset you watched was from your couch when it was part of a Lifetime movie
You may have even Snapchatted it to pretend you were really there.
17. The only salt you’ve had in your hair this year is when you accidentally fell asleep on a bag of chips
There is absolutely no shame in your game.
18. You actually think you’ve forgotten how to swim
You would even risk getting your hair wet if it meant you could be on vacation.
19. Your daily routine involves drinking a third cup of coffee at 4 pm
There is no way whatsoever that can even remotely be good for you.
20. The last time you had a drink at breakfast was when you were still drinking from the night before
The best part about a vacation is that it’s socially acceptable to be drunk the entire time.
21. You feel like you have to keep getting highlights in order to prove you’re not a vampire and do, in fact, see sunlight
The only thing you refer to as “sun kissed” in your life is the color you asked your stylist to dye your hair.
22. Jetblue.com emails you asking if you want to keep your account due to over a year of inactivity
There’s nothing like perfectly-timed advertisements to convince you to spend money you don’t have on a vacation you so desperately need.
23. You use your suitcases as extra storage in your room for all of your winter sweaters
Some may call this being smart while you call it f*cking depressing.
Sure, it may seem like a good idea to store your winter clothes in your suitcase under your bed, but it’s an even better idea to use those suitcases to go on an actual vacation.