There’s a rumor circulating that it's possible to have more than one best friend. In some respects, you absolutely can. But you know that deep down, you have a friend who you love because you’ve known her the longest.
You have another friend who indulges in your terrible foodie habits, which is not to be taken lightly.
And then, you have that another friend who is combination of everything you ever wanted in a person; she loves you even when you kick her in your sleep, when you’re hard-headed and continue to date terrible guys (and cry to her about it later), when you poop and are on the phone with her and when you’re just needy and need a hug.
She’s your absolute best friend. If you could just marry her and be done with it, you totally would. But even if she’s your soul mate, she’s a person, and sometimes, people screw up.
You’ve entrusted everything to her and she knows everything about you. So, when she slips up and hurts you, it goes straight to your core. I’m talking about an intense hurt, like you almost see her differently after all those years.
It's beyond her eating the last piece of chocolate (although, if your best friend is like mine, she’ll nudge the last piece to you because that’s love). She is your soul mate after all, right? So now, what do you do when all that has changed?
You have a couple of choices to make.
You can be a victim
Yes, she hurt you. You cry yourself to sleep, you overeat (because who starves themselves when they’re hurt anymore?), you tell your other best friends and they can console you, but it’s not enough.
You just want to talk about it. All. The. Time. You just can’t help it; it’s like word vomit. But, you can only play the victim card for so long.
Was what she did worth losing your friendship over? Think of all those years she was there for you. She helped you study for your exam and she wasn’t even in your class. She encouraged you to run for your health, even if you hate running and look like a loser with your inhaler.
She's supported you in everything to which you put your mind. Heck, she believes in you more than you do. She’s showed you how to love and be compassionate and think wisely. Does the bad outweigh the good?
If you think it does, then you have your answer, but, if you think that the forever long friendship you’ve built with her is worth it, then I’m with you, because everyone deserves a second chance, especially the ones you love the most.
I know that's sappy, but if your BFF doesn't deserve it, then the world should just end here and now.
Forgive
It’s hard, but it helps to stop thinking about how much she hurt you and start thinking about how you feel, and instead, think about how she feels.
I’m sure she feels terrible and sometimes, we experience situations we just can’t help, or we had no choice. See the bigger picture and realize that you’re not the only one hurting right now — she is, too.
She feels like she’s about to lose her best friend. Don’t you think she loves you? She totally does. I know it. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t put up with your crap, and you know it.
Distance
You need some of it. You think that it will be easier to forgive and forget like nothing has happened, but sometimes, you need some time away from one another.
Try to hang out with the thousands of other friends you never make time for because you’ve put all your friends in separate categories. They miss you, too.
And, during this time of healing and separation, if your mind is like mine, you’ll begin to unreel the tape of all the bad things that have happened as of late, but you have to choose to be strong and shut it down. Turn it off and think about something else.
You need to distract yourself, at least for the time being, and eventually, you won’t constantly wake up thinking about it and you won’t go to sleep thinking about it either.
Soon, you’ll be back to your usual self, but five times stronger, five times wiser and 10 times happier. And why? Because you let go.
Let it go
After taking space and seeing each other just a little less, you’ll come to the conclusion that she’s not all that different. You can’t possibly see her differently because she’s your best friend, after all. She’ll always be there for you and she’ll always care for you.
She’ll sacrifice rent money to visit you when you go to an out-of-state school and she’ll take your late-night calls when you’re walking home alone.
Your friendship is way more serious than just any friendship. And when you try to detach from her, you’ll realize how intertwined she is in your life how she almost completes you.
She’s been a big part of who you are today. If she’s seen you at your worst and your best, what makes this time any different? She loves you and you love her, just like how I love my best friend, and she loves me; it’s that simple when she’s your soul mate.
