6 Honest Truths A Woman Can Learn About Herself After A One-Night Stand
It was the one thing that I'd always wondered about: Do I want to have a one-night stand? Aside from the clichés, there was always that part of me that was curious what it would be like to take someone home with just one goal – and one goal only. Could I do it? Could I wake up in the morning and feel nothing?
In a society in which men are consciously rewarded for their sexual promiscuity, as a woman, I was afraid of not only how I would feel afterward, but also how people would feel about me. Would I have a reputation? Would people talk? Would they formulate opinions about my sexuality? Would they judge?
After one too many drinks and a full-blown awareness of what I wanted, it happened. It wasn't exactly a Diamond Jubilee in the bedroom, but it was amazing and fulfilling and thrilling. That said, it was eye-opening as well. Above all, it was these six lessons I took with me from that one rowdy romp that have both empowered me and sustained me.
The high eventually fades
Immediately after I'd ditched the dude the following morning, I felt like I was otherworldly and untouchable. Knowing that I'd done something for me, and me alone, was freeing. But it didn't last forever. It wasn't that I regretted my decisions (let it be known that I didn't), but after a while I started to feel differently about what I'd done.
It wasn't for bragging rights. It wasn't for popularity points. Choosing to bring a man home for my absolute pleasure was as personal and as pleasurable as I'd expected. More than anything, it was mine.
It feels good to own the power
It's less about the one-night stand and more about having the power to actually go after your sexual whimsies. For so long, I’d felt confined to the box that society and my own ideals kept me in. Knowing that I had a choice in the matter was sexy as hell.
There's no such thing as “no emotions”
I hate when people say that you'll feel nothing when you bring someone home whom you don't outwardly care about. You are a person. You have feelings. They belong to you and you shouldn't feel the need to keep them balled up inside because it's not the norm. I had feelings not for the man I brought into my bedroom, but for the baggage that the act included.
You make the decisions
Does he stay for breakfast? Does he go? It was liberating to have the opportunity to make those decisions to make the morning after. So often, it's the girl who's going home the following morning and left wondering what last night meant. It was vindicating to be able to wake up knowing that what I wanted would happen.
It's all about you
Everything – from the guy, to the place, to the positions – was about my satisfaction. As women, stereotypically speaking, we feel the need to cater to other people's wants and whims – and to be such a beacon for his pleasure that we forget our own. Owning that selfishness, even for just one night, was emancipating.
There are no consequences
I had pored over the “what ifs” so often in my head that I lost sight of what this night was really about. Though society unknowingly impedes and shames women for wanting what they want however they want it, I realized that there were no consequences to my actions – except the ones that I'd layered on myself.
No one was judging me unless I gave him or her the chance to do so; no one was talking about me unless I gave them the opportunity to disseminate my actions.
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