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A Response: Why You Shouldn’t Have Sex On The First Date

I was recently scrolling through my newsfeed when I came across a post that caught my eye. Maybe it was the sexy, seductive-looking woman in the picture, or maybe it was just the title that grabbed my attention. Regardless, I wanted to read more.

I expected to be enlightened about “Why You Should Always Have Sex on a First Date.”

Having sex right away is not my style, but I was open-minded and ready for the article to persuade me. Unfortunately, I wasn't convinced to go about things differently; instead, I was left feeling somewhat appalled.

Call me a prude or old-fashioned, but there are plenty more reasons to keep your panties on after a first date.

Sexual compatibility does not solve everything.

Don't get me wrong, sexual compatibility is both important and beneficial for a relationship. If you don't enjoy doing the dirty with your significant other, it's likely that relationship will not be long-term. But here's the thing: if you don't enjoy being around someone and your personalities just don't click, why even bother? Go find someone who has the personality and interests you're looking for, then check out if they are still worthy under the sheets.


It's not about penis size, it's about how he uses it.

I don't think we should jump to conclusions based on the size of his penis. “Too small” does exist, but just because your man isn't comparable to the Incredible Hulk, does not mean he won't make you feel like he is.

Sorry to burst your bubble ladies, but bigger does not always mean better. So rather than fixating on what is under his pants, fixate on something more essential, like where you two are going on your next date.


Sexual tension isn't awkward, it's exciting.

There's nothing wrong with some sexual tension. Sure, you might stumble over your words when your mind wanders to what it will be like finally getting him in bed, but it's not awkward. That desire of the undiscovered is completely natural. How about trying this?

Getting to know someone, letting that sexual tension grow stronger and stronger, and just when you're about to burst, give into it. I can guarantee ripping each other's clothes off at that point will be more satisfying than after having just met.

Secondly, when did having sex open the door to letting yourself go? Dress how you want, sex or no sex. As Larissa on “The Carrie Diaries” put it best, “No self respecting woman dresses for a man.

Women dress for other women. Or gay men.” Just because he has seen what's underneath your clothes doesn't mean you should care about your appearance less, and just because he hasn't doesn't mean you need to put in extra effort in order to stay appealing. Your appearance is just that: yours. So dress how you want at all times, and if the guy you're seeing isn't a fan of that, you shouldn't be a fan of him.


Not everything has to be speedy.

Do you want him to finish as quickly as it takes you to give it up? I didn't think so. So what's the big rush? We’re all so focused on instant gratification in today's society, but not everything should happen at the snap of our fingers.

If you're going to sleep with this guy, what's so bad about investing a little time? Your time is going to be spent somewhere, so why not spend it the best way possible? Whether we want to admit it or not, everyone's goal in the grand scheme of dating is to find “the one.” Well ladies, it’s going to be a lot harder to find someone special if you’re dropping your lace panties for every vaguely promising passerby.

Whether you're a girl or guy, straight or gay, waiting to have sex is rewarding. Also, the chance of regret is a lot slimmer when you're sleeping with someone you care about.

If you're the more conservative of the pair, you will learn a great deal about the other person by asking him or her to wait. If the person is pushy, say goodbye. Someone who's incapable of respecting your decision about sex is bound to disrespect you in some other way down the line. If the person is understanding, though, then you have another reason to let your sexual guard down.

Top Photo Courtesy: ‘500 Days Of Summer’

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Caitlin St John

Contributor

Caitlin is a native of eastern Long Island now working in Manhattan. She loves good conversation and great people. When she isn't trying out a local food spot in Astoria, you'll find her grabbing a beer and making her way to the dance floor. In ...
Caitlin is a native of eastern Long Island now working in Manhattan. She loves good conversation and great people. When she isn't trying out a local food spot in Astoria, you'll find her grabbing a beer and making her way to the dance floor. In ...

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