A Woman’s Guide to a Successful Night Out
How often do you pregame for a night out thinking you’re going to have the “best night ever” and wake up the next morning with regrets thinking, “what was last night?” That’s probably because you’re f*cking up in one or more of the most classic ways that we women tend to. Here are some dos and don’ts that you might want to follow next time you go out so you don’t wake up the next morning hating yourself.
1. Don’t be “that girl.”
Being ‘that girl’ is probably the worst drunken crime you can commit. This includes stumbling, falling, puking in public, not being able to speak correctly, getting in a bar fight and most importantly: standing on an elevated surface. You don’t need to stand on the bar to get attention and even so, this is not the kind of attention you want. Any of these things will make you look stupid. More than one will make you “that girl.” If it happens to you every once in a while, that’s fine. But, don’t make it a habit. It’s easy to earn a reputation and way harder to erase one.
2. Buy yourself a drink.
Girls are always like “I don’t buy drinks, guys buy me drinks.” That’s great most of the time. It can also make you come off dependant and desperate while you sober up at a crowded bar trying to get a free drink and then wind up wasting your time being harassed by a guy you don’t want to talk to. Learn to depend on yourself: buying yourself a drink gets you the drink when you want it without wasting time or effort.
3. Don’t sleep out unless you have a plan.
This might be the worst part of a drunk night: waking up in who the f*ck knows where, with who the f*ck knows who, with only a tight skirt and heels to get home in. The guy most likely won’t offer you help other than giving you the number for a cab, so you must have a plan the night before. Either wear something you aren’t ashamed to walk-of-shame in, or make sure you’re going home with someone who you know and trust will assist you the next morning in avoiding a shameful trek. Also, try to sleep as close to home as possible. Of course, though, getting the guy to go home with you is ideal.
4. Privacy is key.
Whatever you do– it really doesn’t need to be done in public (for everyone’s best interest.) You’ve found a guy you’re interested in. Great. Now make him work for it a little. Don’t throw yourself at him in the middle of the bar. Being more subtle shows that you have set boundaries for yourself, no matter how drunk you are. Who is this guy to you? Probably nobody special. Either way, there’s no need for PDA unless you’re dating someone. Someone who you’d rather not find out about your one night stand will wind up seeing or hearing about it, or you’ll just look sloppy and stupid. Either way, avoid it.
5. Don’t go into the night with expectations.
We always go out expecting something to happen. Mix any of these expectations with alcohol and you set yourself a death trap. Whatever goals you have with a guy for the night, forget it. The most appealing thing to a guy is confidence and independence. If you’re having fun with your friends and enjoy doing your own thing, the rest will come to you.
6. Do not drunk text.
This is probably the most obvious and repeated rule in the book, but somehow it’s impossible to follow. JUST DON’T DO IT. Unless it’s a close friend who knows how your drunk alter-ego is and doesn’t care, you shouldn’t be texting anyone when you’re drunk. It’s probably either slutty or bitchy. Either way, it’s not you. When you send the text you’re thinking “f*ck it,” and the next morning when you read your drunk conversations, you’re thinking “where’s the nearest bridge so I can jump?”. It’s a great feeling to wake up in the morning and not have to read those drunk texts. Trust me. So just think of that feeling and stop yourself.
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