Women Of The World Rejoice (Or Scowl) As This New Numbing Cream Makes Wearing High Heels Pain-Free
Why should women switch to a more comfortable, sensible shoe like flats when the thoughtful males of the world are inventing a spray to mask the pain of heels? Numb your pain, ladies. Numb your pain.
The newest product being marketed to vulnerable women everywhere is called “biochemistry Heel No Pain” for those who want to wear high heels without feeling the shoes’ uncomfortable pinch.
Created by — who else — a male plastic surgeon in Beverly Hills, California (insert obviousness here) named Dr. Randal Haworth, the numbing cream contains the chemical lidocaine hydrochloride, which is used by doctors and dentists as a local anesthetic. Hmm, that sounds promising if our teeth were anything like our feet.
Some orthopedic doctors are skeptical of the biochemistry, saying that it only masks the pain and does not heal anything. Doctor Haworth, however, said that the spray (like his pick up lines) worked on about 70 percent of women who tried it.
What will they think of next!? High heels that we can actually walk in? No, heaven forbid we let women be that comfortable.
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