#BirthdayGirlProblems: 16 Things Every Girl Goes Through On Her Birthday
Everyone loves being the center of attention, which explains why people love birthdays. It’s as simple as that. Planning a birthday as a female can be pretty difficult, from picking the place to go to who will be invited to celebrate with you.
Since we are women, obviously this decision process is difficult, as we find it nearly impossible to make up our minds.
Do you want day time activities? Night time? Both? Do you want a girls’ night? Do you want to invite your latest hookup?
On top of all the planning, you still need to find something to wear! As stressful and annoying as the process of planning a birthday can be for us girls, we can admit that it’s much better than sitting home alone. Besides, we can vegetate the following weekend during the much-needed recovery.
Here are the 16 things all women experience while planning the celebration of their special day:
1. Refreshing Facebook all day because everyone loves those little red notifications
Everyone gets excited about Facebook notifications, no matter how lame it sounds.
2. Having the phone ring at midnight
We appreciate the love, but please, we’re not in college anymore. Staying up past 11 pm on a weeknight is a struggle, so just text us in the morning. Even though we’re bitter and angry that we have to work on our birthday, we’ll appreciate the message of love and good wishes.
3. Waiting to see if our ex will text or call on the big day
Everyone knows when an ex’s birthday is and if you say you don’t, you’re a terrible liar. You actively have to make the decision not to text an ex on his or her birthday, so isn’t it just easier to send the happy birthday wishes and let that be that? No, Facebook posts do not count.
4. How to tell people what we want when everything we want is likely out of anyone’s price range
If we’re being completely honest here, the things we really, really want are probably out of everyone’s price range. A brand new wardrobe is asking a little too much, isn’t it?
5. Seeing which one of our friends tagged the first birthday pic stitch of the day
This is probably as pathetic as number one, but hey, it makes us feel special! As technology expands, so do all of the ways we want to receive attention.
6. Combating other people’s birthdays that fall on the same weekend
Do we combine them? Do we only celebrate our own? Decisions, decisions…
7. To make a Facebook event or not to make a Facebook event?
Apparently email chains are the new way to communicate plans. I guess we really are growing up? No, not likely. I still won’t remember whatever birthday I’m celebrating, just like when I turned 21.
8. Trying to explain to our family that they don’t actually have to come celebrate with us
The last thing anyone wants to do after celebrating a birthday is to have a family dinner celebration. We’ve seriously been coping with the same hangover for two days and can’t just skip work because it’s our birthday. The best way to get around this is to schedule a birthday dinner with our family before our actual birthday.
9. Trying to make a reservation that accommodates everyone
Brunch? Dinner? Tables at night? What’s the best way to celebrate? Honestly, as long as we have that one person who’s going to make sure we make it home after a ridiculous night, that’s all we really need.
10. The awkward moment when the bill comes to the table
Do we pay for our own birthday dinner? Do we let our friends pick up our part of the bill? This is typically what happens because no one really exchanges (or can afford) actual gifts at this point in their lives.
11. Having our birthday fall in the middle of the week and trying to figure out which weekend to celebrate
What happens if our birthday falls on a Wednesday? We can be huge attention whores and celebrate both weekends, but that will just piss people off. Birthdays that fall on Monday or Tuesday should be celebrated the weekend before.
Those on Thursday and Friday, should be celebrated the weekend after. Wednesday birthday? Choose whichever is more convenient!
12. Not having anyone to have birthday sex with
It’s basically an unwritten rule, but hopefully we will be having too much fun to notice that our night is going to end with pizza and not penis. It’s okay. As long as we make it home safely after a day/night of partying, that’s all that matters.
13. The anxiety of it all
Of course we’re excited about our birthday, but planning sh*t is really stressful!
14. Making sure all of the guys get into the club
Why are bouncers such assh*les? Why is it such a hassle to find somewhere that will accommodate our whole group? We just want to be somewhere with all of our friends, with no problems attached.
15. Finding the perfect outfit
We’ll obviously be spending the day getting trashed with our friends, so naturally, we think the smartest idea is to take a ton of photos to proudly post across social media.
Better get that outfit down-pat if this is how we plan on spending our day! Let’s be real, who isn’t?
16. Calories totally don’t count on our birthday
We get a free pass to eat whatever the hell we want on our birthday, and no one can say a damn thing about it! We’ll enjoy all the snacks and margaritas we want because today is all about us. We’ll get back to that health kick tomorrow.
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